Venting Unloading my earthly possessions

[Concorde]

I threw so much stuff away in December when I was alone

My partner returned from the holidays a cheerful person for whom bupropion began working well. I'm super happy for him but estranged from humanity in a whole new way now

I have one enormous suitcase left to empty

It is so much easier to purge with just one set of eyes (rather than with my own as well as whatever I think my partner's thinking). That is: it's awful to be yelled at. But it's unbearable to be yelled at in public. It's not a double consciousness, is it?

All I mean is that it is easier to experience life than to see it through your own eyes AS WELL AS SOMEONE ELSE's. Stay blessed, y'all.

 

[Concorde]

The enormous suitcase is now done.

Only things left are a box of old photos no one knows I have and which would not bring anyone joy to know I have and a few ancient newspapers and shoes.

Sometimes they say suicide attempts are cries for help. I would say, in the most passive way possible, that throwing away a suitcase full of old documents, books, and calendars in front of my partner might be a cry for help. More like a whimper for help.

But he said I can't go. I can't do that to my parents and he said he can't afford me not being around which on some level he must know is the opposite of true.