university start... I failed.

[edu0z]

I had a month to kill myself before I started college. I am so useless, that not even dedicating every second of my day to planning it I could carry it out. I didn't have the courage to do it, and when I finally tried... Fail.

College starts tomorrow... I have to take all my things and move to a boarding school with hundreds of people... it is impossible to commit suicide in such a place... I'm so lost.

I don't know what to do... I'm desperate... it only occurs to me to escape and throw myself from some building but here the buildings are not so big

I am so useless and so cowardly... I just want it all to end, close my eyes and disappear... Why should we stay alive if we don't want to?

 

[Link]

I know neither you nor the situation that led you to this forum, but it sounds to me like waiting a little longer isn't such a bad idea? Rushing an attempt often ends poorly, and there is nothing wrong with taking more time. Who knows, maybe you'll enjoy university?

 

[toforigivelife]

Is there a way you can check into a private room somewhere if you honestly feel like the best thing for you is to end your life?

I'm not suggesting that you do it. I don't want you to do it. Please don't get that impression.

It's just here's nothing like feeling trapped on top of being in so much pain that you want end your life.

It is also a horrible feeling to want to end your life but being ambivalent about whether or not you truly want to end it.

Call it survival instinct, call it the human primal fear of death. Whatever you want to call it. I think most suicidal people are ambivalent about ending their lives, I don't envy the anguish they're suffering but there are times I have a strange envy of those who are confident that suicide is the best, most compassionate, option for themselves.

You've got a lot of pain, despair, fear and pressure that you're dealing with right now. If I could wave a magic wand and make things better, I would.

I wish you the best. I wish you peace and healing and respect whichever choice you make as long as you honestly it is the best choice for you.

 

[edu0z]

Is there a way you can check into a private room somewhere if you honestly feel like the best thing for you is to end your life?

I'm not suggesting that you do it. I don't want you to do it. Please don't get that impression.

It's just here's nothing like feeling trapped on top of being in so much pain that you want end your life.

It is also a horrible feeling to want to end your life but being ambivalent about whether or not you truly want to end it.

Call it survival instinct, call it the human primal fear of death. Whatever you want to call it. I think most suicidal people are ambivalent about ending their lives, I don't envy the anguish they're suffering but there are times I have a strange envy of those who are confident that suicide is the best, most compassionate, option for themselves.

You've got a lot of pain, despair, fear and pressure that you're dealing with right now. If I could wave a magic wand and make things better, I would.

I wish you the best. I wish you peace and healing and respect whichever choice you make as long as you honestly it is the best choice for you.

Thanks a lot... whatever it is for you are in this forum, it would be interesting to hear your story

 

[FuneralCry]

Being alive really is horrible. It is perfectly understandable wanting to exit when you are suffering so much. You are not a coward as ctb is very difficult, we are programmed to survive after all, if it was easier I would already be gone. Of course you should make sure that any method you attempt is properly planned, as you could fail ctb if you act impulsively. Anyway, I wish you the best and I hope you find peace.