ironrain
Dark clouds gather foreshadowing heavy rain.
- Mar 2, 2026
- 50
I'm finishing my bachelor's and planning to apply for a master's program, but I need German for admission. My mom and I decided I'd take a gap year to learn it. She wanted me to take the exam this year, but I think it's better to wait until next year so I can improve my English and general linguistics first. I told her and she said she was fine with it, but I feel like she's disappointed — my dad was paying for extra classes. I feel so guilty. I'm a fucking burden.
I skipped a lot of classes throughout university. First year was okay, but after that it got worse and worse. I'd just stay home drawing or watching YouTube instead of going. And my parents were paying for my education. I feel terrible about it. I've just been wasting their money. I haven't told them. I feel disgusted with myself.
My dad called several minutes ago and asked if it was difficult for or sth that I decided to take it next year. And I really barely held in from bursting into tears. I don't deserve even those things I have. I don't deserve my family at all. If I just kill myself everyone will be better off without me.
I don't even have money to buy everything needed for SN and afford a hotel room because I've never been employed. I'm basically a parasite.
I skipped a lot of classes throughout university. First year was okay, but after that it got worse and worse. I'd just stay home drawing or watching YouTube instead of going. And my parents were paying for my education. I feel terrible about it. I've just been wasting their money. I haven't told them. I feel disgusted with myself.
My dad called several minutes ago and asked if it was difficult for or sth that I decided to take it next year. And I really barely held in from bursting into tears. I don't deserve even those things I have. I don't deserve my family at all. If I just kill myself everyone will be better off without me.
I don't even have money to buy everything needed for SN and afford a hotel room because I've never been employed. I'm basically a parasite.
