Uncertainty

[tiredflower]

Hi guys. I've been thinking about ctb for a while, but I'm still so uncertain. I'd never do anything on an impulse, it would have to be planned, but I have such conflicting feelings. I recently lost my friend to it and the grief and emotionally instability I've felt on top of my emotional instability already has been traumatising. Maybe it's too soon after her death that it is making me feel uncertain. However, I don't think I can live much longer without her.

I'd do it the same way as she did with SN, but I'm so terrified I'd get it then it wouldn't work. Is possession of SN legal in the UK? My worst fear is waking up then being arrested. Thanks

 

[Racon]

It's not illegal to possess.

 

[tiredflower]

It's not illegal to possess.

Thank you so much

 

[Irishman]

My father passed away a year ago and he was my only family left.
It's not only about the death itself but also the way he passed away which will be my scar until my time comes.
I attempted to ctb two times the following months after his death because i couldn't handle it.

Whatever happens, just don't do that. You must talk to someone you trust about these emotions.
I promise you that it gets better with time, but you must let your soul heal.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

it's natural to be unsure when making a decision as big as ctb. if you're unsure, take the time to sort out your feelings. you shouldn't force yourself to ctb if you aren't ready.

in the meantime, you can always vent on here, or find others who are going through similar things. maybe talking to others who are in the same spot might help you sort your feelings.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry for your loss. If you're still feeling uncertain of whether you want to live or die why not stick around and talk to us for a while? Perhaps we can help you feel more at peace with whichever path you choose.

 

[tiredflower]

I'm sorry for your loss. If you're still feeling uncertain of whether you want to live or die why not stick around and talk to us for a while? Perhaps we can help you feel more at peace with whichever path you choose.

i will definitely stick around! I feel like my life can go one of two ways, I'll either recover or I'll lose all hope. I've suffered for 10+ years now, and I've always somewhat managed but my suicidal actions always were just on an impulse. Now my friend has passed, it's something I'm thinking about again in more depth. It will be nice to talk to everyone so I can feel more at peace and less confused about my path.