Ugh! Another day in hell for us all

[Leiden]

Well, here we all are again. Waking up to another day in hell.

 

[hfdepression30]

Well, here we all are again. Waking up to another day in hell.

I'm already 7 hours into this day of hell. My advice is go back to sleep.

 

[RegretedFeeling]

Been up for about 20 minutes, pretty much done with the day, have court in 3 hours, not that I give two shits.

 

[Leiden]

I'm already 7 hours into this day of hell. My advice is go back to sleep.

Good advice, wish I could. Hope the rest of your day goes by as fast as it can so you can get back to sleep

 

[bea1974]

Been up for about 20 minutes, pretty much done with the day, have court in 3 hours, not that I give two shits.

Are you a witness, defendant, lawyer, judge... or?

(Cos what I am, is a nosy bugger! Lol).

 

[Leiden]

Been up for about 20 minutes, pretty much done with the day, have court in 3 hours, not that I give two shits.

Me too. Hope everything goes your way in court. Good luck

 

[suicide4me]

I am so fucking sick of waking up. The second I wake up, my depression and anxiety kicks in and off I go into another day of battling my own mind. I can't wait to finally ctb and be at peace.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

I'm literally only still here because I don't own a shotgun.

 

[Leiden]

I am so fucking sick of waking up. The second I wake up, my depression and anxiety kicks in and off I go into another day of battling my own mind. I can't wait to finally ctb and be at peace.

I know, it's awful. It's like the moment I wake up, I'm like Ugh, noo, not again! Wish you the best day you can have. Depression sucks and anxiety is terrifying and I know them both very well.

 

[ClownMe]

The biggest nightmare of them all, waking up.

 

[filtfarfar]

Waking up is by far the worst part of the day. I desperately try to go back to sleep but it's no use, I have to confront and live yet another day of my shit life.

 

[Leiden]

I'm literally only still here because I don't own a shotgun.

I'm not implying that this is why you don't have a gun but it resonates with me because In the back of my head I'm often like, hope I never get 51/50ed (involuntarily admitted into the psych ward) so I can get a gun. I want to keep my options open some. Only the people who go through what we have to go through would understand that. Everyone else would think I was insane to even think that up. Let them go through one little ounce of the things that we have to go through and see how they feel! Hope things end up working out for you, in what ever you chose as your exit.

 

[yive]

I'm literally only still here because I don't own a shotgun.

same here... :/

 

[RegretedFeeling]

Are you a witness, defendant, lawyer, judge... or?

(Cos what I am, is a nosy bugger! Lol).

It's my second driving while unauthorized,
Honestly 3 months in jail away from everybody may do me some good.

 

[bea1974]

It's my second driving while unauthorized,
Honestly 3 months in jail away from everybody may do me some good.

I hope it doesn't come to that though.

 

[adam]

I'm literally only still here because I don't own a shotgun.

Are you considering only this variant?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Are you considering only this variant?

No, when I ctb it will most likely be by carotid slashing during an emotional frenzy. I was able to slash and stab myself a bit in such a state, this time I will aim for the carotid, I can feel it pulsating and it's not super deep in there. The idea is to cut diagonally. I don't think I can get partial to work, no easy way of doing full suspension. Gas, SN and N are too much of a pain in the ass for me. I'm open to jumping but I can't rely on myself to get it done during the short stay I can conjure up at a good height. Next thing I try might be night-night, but I'm not very optimistic about that one either.

 

[adam]

No, when I ctb it will most likely be by carotid slashing during an emotional frenzy. I was able to slash and stab myself a bit in such a state, this time I will aim for the carotid, I can feel it pulsating and it's not super deep in there. The idea is to cut diagonally. I don't think I can get partial to work, no easy way of doing full suspension. Gas, SN and N are too much of a pain in the ass for me. I'm open to jumping but I can't rely on myself to get it done during the short stay I can conjure up at a good height. Next thing I try might be night-night, but I'm not very optimistic about that one either.

The described methods of yours are aesthetically unpleasant and fearful for me, but death is death. Initially, I also tried partial suspension, but I still could not get over my SI, so now I hope for SN. It requires almost nothing of me, except to drink it. it seems like an easy way, regarding your variants.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

The described methods of yours are aesthetically unpleasant and fearful for me, but death is death. Initially, I also tried partial suspension, but I still could not get over my SI, so now I hope for SN. It requires almost nothing of me, except to drink it. it seems like an easy way, regarding your variants.

SN requires anti-emetics that I can't get. Plus it would be hard enough to order the SN itself for me since I'd have to rent a PO box or something, it's just too much. I don't really have enough energy or motivation for anything too complicated.

Edit: I don't think I would be able to pull off carotid slashing. I am now looking into night-night and long drop.

 

[NormaJeane]

Well, here we all are again. Waking up to another day in hell.

You are right, life can be hell. Only the bravest people dare to leave life.

 

[WornOutLife]

As my lovely deceased grandma used to say:

"One more day, one less day..."

The "less" part is what gives me hope!

 

[adam]

SN requires anti-emetics that I can't get. Plus it would be hard enough to order the SN itself for me since I'd have to rent a PO box or something, it's just too much. I don't really have enough energy or motivation for anything too complicated.

I understand you very well.

 

[demuic]

If only life could be a nice dream.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing is the most pointless thing ever.

 

[sleepisanescape]

Ah, the familiar slow creeping dread that accompanies waking up and starting another groundhog-esque day, my favorite! :)

 

[RegretedFeeling]

The described methods of yours are aesthetically unpleasant and fearful for me, but death is death. Initially, I also tried partial suspension, but I still could not get over my SI, so now I hope for SN. It requires almost nothing of me, except to drink it. it seems like an easy way, regarding your variants.

I saw a guy cut his throat, he was actually very calm throughout the ordeal (I drove him to the hospital), may have been the prison liquor!

 

[LastFlowers]

Tell me about it, if I had everything else I needed taken care of and done with, I would have gladly drank my SN over 5 hours ago. I was fucking ready for this to be over, I still am, I just wish I didn't have so many loose ends to tie up.

 

[MindFog]

Being conscious feel like a burden these days. If only I could sleep forever..

 

[Marktheghost]

At least we've got each other to help us cope.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Ugh. Waking up in the morning is agony. Always that initial fuzziness in my head from the night before, but then the reality of my situation slowly creeps in and I realize, "Dude, you know you're right on the edge there, right?" By the edge I mean might be homeless again in a couple months, but, this time I will probably not have the only person I want to be with at my side. I think she is done with me. Which is a shame because I left everyone I know behind and moved here to be with her. Now, that's gone and trying to motivate myself through this Hell after 30 fucking years of trying to find a woman like her....I don't have the strength guys....30 years is a long time to spend looking for someone.....I am so lost....