Help [tw for self harm] other coping mechanisms?

[VIBRITANNIA]

my mom almost found out that i've been hitting myself. i was asking her about something, and she took notice of the bruises on my arms (which had become more apparent because i hit them again). i managed to save myself by saying i fell down the stairs last week, but she didn't buy it completely. i thought i was being careful, but this just shows you can never be careful enough.

i know hurting myself isn't a healthy coping mechanism, but it's the one that works best for me. i know there are less harmful ways of self harming, like snapping a rubber band against your wrist or holding an ice cube, but i don't think those would be painful enough for me.

is there anything i could do in place of self harm? or another method of self harming that's easier to hide? thanks in advance.

 

[Ghost2211]

If you don't like the methods of stopping what about poking with pins? It can be done in locations people won't see, and will heal fast if you don't go to wild with it.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

If you don't like the methods of stopping what about poking with pins? It can be done in locations people won't see, and will heal fast if you don't go to wild with it.

i hadn't thought of that before. maybe i'll give it a go. thank you for the suggestion.

 

[Ghost2211]

Clean them well

 

[Spitfire]

I am curious what do you think your mom would say? How do you think she would react towards you if you were to open up and talk to her openly about this? Is that even remotely possible for you, or no?

Is there anyone else you can trust who would really listen to you?

It takes a lot of effort to always have to be constantly covering it up to everyone.

Even having just one person in real life who knows all about it might help alleviate some of the shameful feelings usually accompanying having to cover it up.

I would not imagine it would be easy to stop. Do you feel like you are ready, or able to stop this behavior? Only when that happens can it be possible.

You are asking if there is something to do in place of self harm. I do not know that there is, but this could mean you are ready to start and try to stop.

Gradually reducing the frequency and severity of the behavior is a good first step you can take, if you are wanting to try and begin to stop. Healthcare professionals call this harm-minimization.

Do you think all of this is something easier said than done for you?

Have you looked at other peoples stories online about how they were successful? Even if success was ever reached there could be relapses, and I do not think that is something to be ashamed of either.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

I am curious what do you think your mom would say? How do you think she would react towards you if you were to open up and talk to her openly about this? Is that even remotely possible for you, or no?

Is there anyone else you can trust who would really listen to you?

I would not imagine it would be easy to stop. Do you feel like you are ready, or able to stop this behavior? Only when that happens can it be possible.

Do you think all of this is something easier said than done for you?

my mom has found about my "habit" before, and her reaction wasn't the best. if anything, her actions made me want to continue more.

technically, i do have people i can talk to about this, but they wouldn't understand. as in, they would label me "crazy" behind my back. i don't really trust others with my feelings.

and yes, saying i'm going to stop doing this is easier than actually stopping. i think i'll try to minimize the damage i do to myself.

thank you for your response.

 

[Spitfire]

It is a hard thing to do to trust other people with your feelings. It always made me feel vulnerable if I was to open up like that with myself to other people. I never felt like they ever really cared anyway, for with most people.

You are very smart in wanting to try and minimize the damage you do to yourself. I think this is one of the most important things you can do right now.

Have you tried exploring why it is you do this in the first place? Sometimes that may help if you realize the root cause. This could be difficult to do though, if it is not something somewhat specific?

At least you have this site to talk about it to others here if you wanted.

 

[ecmnesia]

personally, whenever I am about to relapse I go for the ice cube method, if you hold it long it enough it hurts and somehow, no pun intended, cools me down. not the same as cutting, but you know. seems creepy but I also like to "drown" myself in a cold water bucket. sometimes, I go for a candle, cause the wax chills me, still, nothing comes close to cutting...

maybe you could try it on less exposed areas ...