Venting trying to ignore reality

[sadbunny]

because if i realize that im absolutely miserable i spiral into that black hole
yet in the back of mind all day everyday for the past 2 years
it's thoughts of suicide
i try to shake it off and ignore it but it's impossible
i'll just cut myself for now
lately i've been overwhelmed with the sudden thoughts about my parents passing away at anytime and how i'll be unable to ever cope with that
i completely depend on their existence to escape from feeling alone
so now i know i feel my thoughts of suicide are reinforced and that it is the best choice to do it as soon as possible
i just cant get past my thoughts of hurting them and my daughters

these are just my current tragic and hopeless thoughts..

 

[Blutsager]

My friend, I am sorry to hear you are being filled with such terrible thoughts.

I want you to know, it is okay for you to feel this way, perhaps being overwhelmed by your situation, whichever it may be.
But there is no reason for you to feel alone. If nowhere else, if no one else, know that we are all here for you, in this community... in this family.

My PM is open for you, should you want to talk. From there, should you like to hop into discord, it would be a pleasure to receive you in some servers I have met other wonderful people, some members of this forum, some people who would fit here very well even though they are not part of this family.