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L

lafin

A place only we know
Oct 14, 2022
5
So I tried to OD two days ago. I was ready it's something I have been thinking about for a long time. I prepared a bottle of water filled it at about 1/10 for the pills to melt in it. Pills 💊 looked like this so all I had was to open em and add the powder in the bottle. I had about three pallet. So approximately I took 30 tablets. The drink was nasty af. It took me 15 mins to drink It. As I finished I felt high but a different type of high I Cannot explain. I put netrflix on before hand and was scrolling on my phone laying down . What I felt : if I moved to much I felt like I was Passing out. Quick heart beat. That's it. I was expecting to pass out. But no nothing happened aftrrr 1 hour of wait I felt less high and felt like I was being myself again no more fast heartbeat or weird feeling. I just fell asleep and woke up the next day disappointed like why I'm i still alive ?? Anyways, I threw up everything I hadn't eaten day before so it was just yellow liquid. I threw up like 7 times and managed to go outside for a date that I wasn't sure I'd make but I did it like as if nothing happened. Just to say im disappointed it wasn't my time. I am trying to find another way of ending it because I can't deal with this life no more I am not a machine and I never asked to be here.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,449
It's understandable as to why you would be disappointed that you are still here. It sounds awful going through that experience. Existing can certainly be torture and I also feel tired of enduring life. I wish you freedom from all suffering.
 
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L

lafin

A place only we know
Oct 14, 2022
5
Thanks a lot
It's understandable as to why you would be disappointed that you are still here. It sounds awful going through that experience. Existing can certainly be torture and I also feel tired of enduring life. I wish you freedom from all suffering.
Thank you
 

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