Trapped in my friendship

[tehdragonguy]

I feel so hopeless. I've tried so hard for the last couple of months to get better. I've started therapy and put so much mental effort into trying to control my thought processes. But it's all for nothing. I had a bit of a slip this morning and got told I'm hard work and tiring to be around. I got berated for just asking that I be treated the same way as everyone else in the group. I hate being the last to find out about everything. But when I mention that they just remind me it's my own fault and my mental health caused it. They say they don't invite me to things because they're scared of how I'll act. I don't blame them but it hurts and it feels like any work I put in can't fix this.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

Why do people think you're hard work to be around, or are scared of how you'll act?

 

[tehdragonguy]

Why do people think you're hard work to be around, or are scared of how you'll act?

I've been told it explicitly. I've been told that I don't get invited to things, or find out about them last, because they're not sure how I'll act or if I'll ruin the time. But that just perpetuates the loop of thoughts I have around that over and over.

 

[bl33ding_heart]

I've been told it explicitly. I've been told that I don't get invited to things, or find out about them last, because they're not sure how I'll act or if I'll ruin the time. But that just perpetuates the loop of thoughts I have around that over and over.

I'm sorry about that. I don't know how you would act since I don't know you of course. But I'm sure you aren't a terrible person, and I know how hurtful it can feel to be excluded.