My brother was a hot tempered man, he had quite a bad image when it comes to attitude. I have 3 brothers and the three of them successfully ran away from home.
All that was left is me and me alone.
The pressure and expectations that were meant for my brothers were passed down to me. I make mistakes and they point it out.
Today I really had a bad day. I felt like I will fail from my Inorganic Chemistry class and worse is that I am already in college. I was able to arrive at my house and I saw that my Aunt's car was inside the garage. Then there goes my cousin who unloaded the groceries they bought, she saw me, left me, and let me carry all the stuff. There were some things that she was supposed to bring upstairs, I told her to go back downstairs because there's still a lot. She told me " Why won't you?" Then I told her that I already have it in mind and I just have to unload my bag because I'm from school.
Before going to my house I was planning to cry because I am really scared if I will fail, because of my family. But then this scenario hurted me more. She told me that " You're just like your brother. If things won't go your way, you'll throw out a tantrum. That's why people think that you're a criminal".
This is not just the first time it happened to me. I am really tired that this statement is repeated through years even though what I did is not the same with what my brothers did.
Should I just run away too? But I don't know how to :( and my guilt overpowers me. I am really tired of this cycling hell of a "home".
All that was left is me and me alone.
The pressure and expectations that were meant for my brothers were passed down to me. I make mistakes and they point it out.
Today I really had a bad day. I felt like I will fail from my Inorganic Chemistry class and worse is that I am already in college. I was able to arrive at my house and I saw that my Aunt's car was inside the garage. Then there goes my cousin who unloaded the groceries they bought, she saw me, left me, and let me carry all the stuff. There were some things that she was supposed to bring upstairs, I told her to go back downstairs because there's still a lot. She told me " Why won't you?" Then I told her that I already have it in mind and I just have to unload my bag because I'm from school.
Before going to my house I was planning to cry because I am really scared if I will fail, because of my family. But then this scenario hurted me more. She told me that " You're just like your brother. If things won't go your way, you'll throw out a tantrum. That's why people think that you're a criminal".
This is not just the first time it happened to me. I am really tired that this statement is repeated through years even though what I did is not the same with what my brothers did.
Should I just run away too? But I don't know how to :( and my guilt overpowers me. I am really tired of this cycling hell of a "home".
