too tired to ctb

[samsaragothands]

i'm planning to ctb tonight and i have everything and logistically it's perfect, but i can't bring myself to set everything up. i feel like i'm paralyzed with exhaustion; it's the same feeling that makes me want to die in the first place. this is like purgatory and i don't know what to do. i can't muster up the energy to live or die. even when the latter option is clearly presented ahead of me, i can't even commit to it. i feel pathetic. i just want someone to come kill me.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

i'm planning to ctb tonight and i have everything and logistically it's perfect, but i can't bring myself to set everything up. i feel like i'm paralyzed with exhaustion; it's the same feeling that makes me want to die in the first place. this is like purgatory and i don't know what to do. i can't muster up the energy to live or die. even when the latter option is clearly presented ahead of me, i can't even commit to it. i feel pathetic. i just want someone to come kill me.

I have a similar feeling of hopelessness but zero motivation to act on it.

 

[FuneralCry]

Ctb really is so difficult after all. I wish there was a way to fall asleep and never wake up. I know what it is like to have no energy. I am always tired of everything. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[samsaragothands]

i just can't go through with it tonight. it sucks because this is the only convenient time to do it. i hate myself so much

 

[rationaltake]

I understand.

 

[Lost Magic]

Ctb really is so difficult after all. I wish there was a way to fall asleep and never wake up. I know what it is like to have no energy. I am always tired of everything. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

There is a way to do that, it's called drinking Nembutal. You just die in your sleep. Although, I know that it isn't accessible for everybody.