Help too scared to reach out for help

[notrllycherub]

Hi! As the title suggests, I'm not sure if I should tell anyone about how depressed I've been feeling. I'm very torn between wanting to ctb and getting help. My final exams are coming up and I'd hate to be put in a mental hospital rn, but the feelings anxiety and sadness have been too overwhelming to handle by myself. I keep changing my mind, but I think that I should at least try and talk to someone while I still feel like it. What should I do? I don't want to scare anyone.

 

[neenie]

I understand how you feel and support you <3 Is there any way for you to see a psychologist / psychiatrist without having to get yourself to the psych ward? You won't be forcefully locked up if you don't have a plan (= method or date) so you can still talk about your suicidal thoughts somewhat openly. Anyway I encourage you to seek help first so that whatever you choose in the end you will be informed and have no regrets <3

 

[ForeverCaHa]

If you're based in the UK, I'd recommend contacting the Samaritans, or calling the NHS hotline on 111 option 2 (mental health services).

If you're in a different country, I'm sure there will be alternatives you can use to talk to someone. At least with these UK ones, they are non-judgemental and are there to offer advice.

 

[getoutgirl]

Hi. If you are here and suicidal I would greatly encourage you to seek professional help if you haven't yet. Specially if there is a part of you that still clings to hope and wants to live, even if it gets quiet at times. Please do. I get that it is hard to reach out, even without the stigma, but just a bit of help can make a world of difference, so do try that at least.
You don't have to check yourself into a psychward, nor tell everyone you are suicidal and freak them out. You can just say you are feeling overwhelmed and depressed and would like to get some professional help, then discuss it further with said professional. or some hotlines too if you'd like a more immediate outlet.
Try and find the time to do that, take it slow if you need but also don't hold it too much. If you feel like you can focus on your finals first that'd be good too, as long as you keep in mind to get that help once they are done. It's up to you, but I'd really recommend you try that help first.
Also you can come vent here whenever whatever you are feeling, that helps too. Big hugs <333

 

[notrllycherub]

I understand how you feel and support you <3 Is there any way for you to see a psychologist / psychiatrist without having to get yourself to the psych ward? You won't be forcefully locked up if you don't have a plan (= method or date) so you can still talk about your suicidal thoughts somewhat openly. Anyway I encourage you to seek help first so that whatever you choose in the end you will be informed and have no regrets <3

Unfortunately no :( Right now I'd take me at least a month before I would get to see a psychologist. Also I've already failed an attempt once so I would propably get locked up if I would even mention any suicidal thoughts to my psychiatrist. I thought abt talking to my friends but I don't know if there is any way in which they could help.

 

[getoutgirl]

Unfortunately no :( Right now I'd take me at least a month before I would get to see a psychologist. Also I've already failed an attempt once so I would propably get locked up if I would even mention any suicidal thoughts to my psychiatrist. I thought abt talking to my friends but I don't know if there is any way in which they could help.

There were times when I was really suicidal and some friend showed up and I kinda forgot about it for a while. They may not solve the issue, but they can make life a lil less miserable here and there. If you have good friends you can tell them you've been feeling really down lately and would appreciate some company, just them being there, there is no real reason not to do that if so.
srry you can't get that other help now :/

 

[notrllycherub]

Hi. If you are here and suicidal I would greatly encourage you to seek professional help if you haven't yet. Specially if there is a part of you that still clings to hope and wants to live, even if it gets quiet at times. Please do. I get that it is hard to reach out, even without the stigma, but just a bit of help can make a world of difference, so do try that at least.

Thank u <333 I really, really appreciate your kind words. I might try to reach out to my psychiatrist, but I'll still need to think of what to tell him.

 

[bankai]

I would advise against talking to any friend or family member. They will either dismiss you or they will use it against you in the future. Speak to a qualified therapist.

 

[eggsausagerice]

this post popped up in my feed again, hi cherub!
i tried talking to one of my friends about my suicidal thoughts and he got upset with me since i couldn't really talk about anything besides looking up methods. i realized that i couldn't get a firearm until i turn 21 after i had spent a week researching guns and how to properly position them, so that ended up being a waste of time.

i'm still thinking about ctbing (i have a note on my phone of locations i can do it at lol) but i won't tell my friend anymore because i know he doesn't like hearing it. most people will get distressed, tell you to talk about something else, or say that they'll call the cops on you if you say you're getting really depressed. this forum seems to be the only place you can actually be open with your feelings, and having separate forums for suicide and wanting to recover is cool for people that feel both ways. i don't have a therapist, but that's the only for real for real way to talk about how you're feeling without distressing someone close to you. before going on this forum i'd have bad intrusive thoughts and i'd google what to do, and i'd just get stuff about not killing yourself or to talk to your friends. constantly looking up self help advice because i wanted to feel better always made me feel worse. it can be really frustrating to get worse but not be allowed to mention it to anyone ♡

 

[getoutgirl]

this post popped up in my feed again, hi cherub!
i tried talking to one of my friends about my suicidal thoughts and he got upset with me since i couldn't really talk about anything besides looking up methods. i realized that i couldn't get a firearm until i turn 21 after i had spent a week researching guns and how to properly position them, so that ended up being a waste of time.

i'm still thinking about ctbing (i have a note on my phone of locations i can do it at lol) but i won't tell my friend anymore because i know he doesn't like hearing it. most people will get distressed, tell you to talk about something else, or say that they'll call the cops on you if you say you're getting really depressed. this forum seems to be the only place you can actually be open with your feelings, and having separate forums for suicide and wanting to recover is cool for people that feel both ways. i don't have a therapist, but that's the only for real for real way to talk about how you're feeling without distressing someone close to you. before going on this forum i'd have bad intrusive thoughts and i'd google what to do, and i'd just get stuff about not killing yourself or to talk to your friends. constantly looking up self help advice because i wanted to feel better always made me feel worse. it can be really frustrating to get worse but not be allowed to mention it to anyone ♡

Hi, sorry you went through that
I don't think it is best to think in absolutes regarding talking to people about this. True in some cases it can suck or even turn ugly. Like you say a lot of people don't know how to react and do so poorly. Others have good intentions and care for you and might go into lifeguard mode, just trying desperatedly to understand and keep you from doing that. Talking to someone who cares for you just about how to kill yourself has high chances of them just freaking out yeah. If you allow for some nuance and tact there is a source of comfort there.
It's a case by case basis, you shouldn't reject it altogether because it can help a lot and others have shared experiences of that here.
You just have to use your own judgement and knowledge of that person.
There are those who, if you engage with it propperly, can empathize and share comfort.
It's a hard subject and there is no way around that.

Also get how shitty happy life affirming advice can do more bad than good if its just thrown around with disregard, and if you are not in that position mentally to even want to accept that. Relatability and empathy is gold though, be it from friends or in here, which yeah this is a pertty good space for that <3

 

[lilies.in.heaven]

Talking to someone who cares for you just about how to kill yourself has high chances of them just freaking out yeah

Not only that. I also think it can make them more likely to CTB one day, specially if they are very close to you and you end up actually catching the bus some day