Venting Tonight might be the night

[foggy]

I'm extremely suicidal. I've been planning this for a while. I planned to wait until June but it's bad rn. I don't have the option of being hospitalized for mh treatment nor do I want that. I didn't fast tonight but I think if I wait until the early hours of the morning I'll be able to use SN. I'm scared of the consequences of my actions. Will my friend kill himself? Will my sister be devastated? Idk and honestly I almost don't care. I'm very low right now and I just… I don't want to be alive anymore. I care about my family and friends but I don't know if I love them enough to live for them. Not when I'm suffering like this. That sounds terrible. I'm sorry. I want this all to be over.

Please don't judge me.

 

[Riddle]

No judgement, I get in these spots too. But before you act, read through this thread of failed SN attempts

SS – Non-Fatal Sodium Nitrite (SN / NaNO2) Attempts: Member Methods & Experiences

Non-Fatal Sodium Nitrite (SN / NaNO2) Attempts: Member Methods & ExperiencesLast Updated: 2020.02.17 Mobile-Friendly Website Version THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE FOR IMPROVEMENT SO LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE. PLEASE, INSTEAD OF SUICIDE, GIVE RECOVERY A CHANCE! YOU CAN REACH OUT TO THE NUMBERS BELOW: ...

docs.google.com

I find it a cathartic experience that really makes you realize the gravity of your decision and what you may face after drinking SN. Please give it a day or two to think it over, if you are still ready then follow the protocol

 

[xo777]

I understand and no judgment. I don't have any advice but I hear you.

 

[CrossroadsCurious]

Peace be your journey!

 

[foggy]

No judgement, I get in these spots too. But before you act, read through this thread of failed SN attempts

SS – Non-Fatal Sodium Nitrite (SN / NaNO2) Attempts: Member Methods & Experiences

Non-Fatal Sodium Nitrite (SN / NaNO2) Attempts: Member Methods & ExperiencesLast Updated: 2020.02.17 Mobile-Friendly Website Version THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE FOR IMPROVEMENT SO LONG AS YOU ARE ALIVE. PLEASE, INSTEAD OF SUICIDE, GIVE RECOVERY A CHANCE! YOU CAN REACH OUT TO THE NUMBERS BELOW: ...

docs.google.com

I find it a cathartic experience that really makes you realize the gravity of your decision and what you may face after drinking SN. Please give it a day or two to think it over, if you are still ready then follow the protocol

Thank you for sharing

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry it came to this. Don't know what you're dealing with or what kind of pain you're trying to avoid, so won't try to talk you out of it. When you have people that care for you, the decision is even harder. If they know about your feelings they might me somewhat prepared already and it won't be a shock.

 

[Kurinoy]

Too tired to keep going? That's normal buddy, I hope you'll find peace whether you do it or not. No one can blame you. Hugs.

 

[foggy]

I did not ctb. It was a close one though. Thank you for all your kind words. Life is hard and idk where I'll come up with the strength to keep going.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much. I know that it is hard to carry on when you are so tired of everything. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[headspin]

I'm extremely suicidal. I've been planning this for a while. I planned to wait until June but it's bad rn. I don't have the option of being hospitalized for mh treatment nor do I want that. I didn't fast tonight but I think if I wait until the early hours of the morning I'll be able to use SN. I'm scared of the consequences of my actions. Will my friend kill himself? Will my sister be devastated? Idk and honestly I almost don't care. I'm very low right now and I just… I don't want to be alive anymore. I care about my family and friends but I don't know if I love them enough to live for them. Not when I'm suffering like this. That sounds terrible. I'm sorry. I want this all to be over.

Please don't judge me.

I am in your place of resolve. I ordered SN yesterday. I've been contemplating / planning for months , but was set on hanging, but after practicing it was too intense. I'd rather get a hotel room and make it as relaxing at possible. But I'm not sure if the stuff I ordered is legit. I need this to work .