Tonight might be the night

[Konjac]

Currently on the run (ironically, catching the literal bus) although I don't think the police have been called yet. Worst depressive episode to date and I don't think I'll ever get better, was gonna try to hold out until Christmas but my illness is tearing my life apart and I don't think I'll ever be a functional member of society.

I feel strangely calm and have a few backup options on hand should things not go to plan. I'm gonna scope out a particular building (13 story, decent) and see how that'll work out but if SI kicks in or security are too tight then I have blades and some SN. I'm freshly out of hospital and will probably have all units on ground looking for me so if I get caught this time then I'm fucked. It has to work.

Thanks for all the support and love you guys have offered, this place has been a bit of a sanctuary during my worst times and I can't express how grateful I am. Will try to provide updates when I can.

 

[FuneralCry]

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. Life is just so horrible. I understand it is hard to carry on when things are hopeless. I hope you find peace and freedom from suffering.

 

[miserableforever]

Good luck finding your happiness

 

[hopelessgirl]

I get you, so badly... Don't know if I can't make it till Christmas either. Good luck. If you need someone to talk to I'm here.

 

[Konjac]

Thank you everyone. <3

My phone is blowing up and I'm quite paranoid about police especially as I'm having to take public transport but I'm hoping I can get to the location I need to and CTB before they find me. Only about 40 mins of this bus ride left, thank fuck.

 

[Kennish]

I wish you a safe travel and I hope you find the peace you're looking for

 

[Konjac]

In the back of a police car right now, they took my SN and dragged me off the roof right as I was going to drink it then jump off. Completely fucked it and I'm a wreck, nothing feels real and I feel nothing. Gonna bullshit my way out of the assessment and come back to this thread when i next get a shot. Time to find more fucking SN!!! Why didn't I drink it faster I want to die. That is all I want and this fucked up world that I didn't even ask to be brought into won't even let me have that

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Sorry about your situation. Why were you on the run? There was no place to use SN privately?