builtwrong
permanent solution to a permanent problem
- Aug 24, 2020
- 51
I've had 2 panic attacks today so I'm a bit stoned, please bear with my grammar. I'm incredibly adhd and wasn't diagnosed until I was 17. I didn't plan to make it to 18 but the meds I got helped me so much they gave me more time, but as of recently I've been cut off of them. Shit, I couldn't graduate high school without my meds, there's no way I could be a functional adult without them. The meds carried me to 20 but now that I've lost them the whole house of cards fell apart.
I've been in withdrawals for 3 months and seeing as I'm homeless and couch hopping I'm at a new clinic that might be able to give them to me despite the weed I use for my PTSD and anxiety. I don't know if they will, but just like every time I'm about to renew my prescription I'm sick with fear, I can't sleep because of it. Each pill is a voucher for another day, but as it's been recently proven to me I don't know if I can get them reliably.
Honestly, at this point I'm just as scared I'll get the script as I am I won't. At least if I won't I have the excuse to put an end to this miserable cycle. I'm so exhausted from being dependent on our ignorant, heartless medical system to survive. it doesn't help that my PTSD and anxiety stem from over a decade of abuse and manifest as an inability to trust people. I always say I don't know how I'm gonna keep this shit up, but the truth is I just don't want to.
I've been in withdrawals for 3 months and seeing as I'm homeless and couch hopping I'm at a new clinic that might be able to give them to me despite the weed I use for my PTSD and anxiety. I don't know if they will, but just like every time I'm about to renew my prescription I'm sick with fear, I can't sleep because of it. Each pill is a voucher for another day, but as it's been recently proven to me I don't know if I can get them reliably.
Honestly, at this point I'm just as scared I'll get the script as I am I won't. At least if I won't I have the excuse to put an end to this miserable cycle. I'm so exhausted from being dependent on our ignorant, heartless medical system to survive. it doesn't help that my PTSD and anxiety stem from over a decade of abuse and manifest as an inability to trust people. I always say I don't know how I'm gonna keep this shit up, but the truth is I just don't want to.
