The work on Monday made me extremely depressed. I gave 150% because I know I have a disability and without doing that i won't have a chance. After my existential crisis due to this stress i've decided to give only 100% of my power today. The positive is I am way less depressed the contrapoint is I was way too slow and I think they might fire me soon. I am in a dilemma as always in my life. And there is no real solution. Furthermore I gain weight from the medication that shall help my with my severe sleeping problems. The alternative are sleeping pills that might turn me into an addict if I use them for too long. Quiet scared of both.
I don't know what I should hope that they fire me quickly or that they still give the little hope my life won't end in poverty.
I wish I had a car crash or someone would push me in front of a train. I hate it to have the responsibility to manage all of that. I was abused as a child, the hand I've been dealt is utterly garbage. Is see suicide incoming. All I can do are my pathetic attempts to fight my fate.
I don't know what I should hope that they fire me quickly or that they still give the little hope my life won't end in poverty.
I wish I had a car crash or someone would push me in front of a train. I hate it to have the responsibility to manage all of that. I was abused as a child, the hand I've been dealt is utterly garbage. Is see suicide incoming. All I can do are my pathetic attempts to fight my fate.
