Venting Today was the first time I tied a real noose and put my head through the loop

[tinyfox]

Hi, everyone. I've never been this close to CTB in my entire life. I'm standing on a chair, thinking… I don't know if I'll be able to do it or not. Probably not today, but today will be the first time in a long time that I'm alone. Another chance won't come soon, but I'm not sure if I can wait that long, since my daily torment will force me to do something about it—but when the time is right, I'm still afraid.

I don't know if I'll be able to do it…

If access to the loop were constant, maybe sooner or later I'd take a chance and take the plunge. But right now, so many thoughts flood my mind—about my family, about fear…

What a strange life. I know that sooner or later I'll have to CTB, but when I get close to it, my instinct for self-preservation immediately kicks in. A heavy and strange life.

Why did they make us this way...


I know I have to do this, and I know I can't go on living like this, but I still can't take that step… How I wish I had a gun—one push of a button would fix everything, but hanging myself is much scarier…

 

[Ben 111]

I thought you bought SN,,did you change ur mind

 

[tinyfox]

I thought you bought SN,,did you change ur mind

I can't use SN. It's very difficult in my situation, If the attempt with SN fails, I could become disabled or seriously damage my health. It won't be a peaceful exit. I'm now thinking about FSH and drowning. Right now, with the whole world watching, I'm sitting on this forum, and there won't be another chance to

 

[Ben 111]

I recommend you try CO Asphyxiation...its painless if ur unconscious or sleeping

 

[tinyfox]

I recommend you try CO Asphyxiation...its painless if ur unconscious or sleeping

Tank you very much, where can I read about method?

 

[Ben 111]

I posted a megathread few minutes ago

 

[tinyfox]

I posted a megathread few minutes ago

Yeah thanks, but you have this post in text? I don't English very well and I won't use translator

 

[Ben 111]

 

[tinyfox]

View attachment 204386View attachment 204387

Yeah, thanks. Do you have this in text?

 

[Ben 111]

Its already in text

 

[tinyfox]

Its already in text

Sorry, i see 2 images with text
I mean text that I can copy in clipboard

 

[SomeKindOfName]

I think SN is much better if you have reliable source of high quality SN.

 

[SunnySideSummer]

I wish you will be happy