Help Today is my last chance! Need help with SI

[Vertigo]

I'll have a couple of hours to myself today and it will be my only chance for a very long time if I wanted to ctb.
I practiced partial many times but today I am commited to get the job done no matter what. I have a few issues with partial but even if I don't get answered I'll push through them.
My problem is while hanging, I start to lose my hearing and my body starts to get numb and I feel like i'm going to pass out but I get very scared and my heart starts racing, and I could hear my heart beat very loudly as if it's playing through a speaker, I am a very icky person in general and can't stand hearing that sound even without me hanging myself.

 

[Supersadmommy90]

I know what you mean. It's quite different mentally planning it, when you're actually attempting it is enough to send you into a panic. My last attempt at an attempt, mind you it would have been full suspension, my heart started racing like crazy and I thought to myself that having my last moments being experiencing a panic attack isn't going to be fun... i can see how it would affect your hearing and the overall sensory and auditory experience of hanging is very unpleasant no matter which way to slice it.

 

[PrettyMoose]

I have a long rope and can play around with length all I want. When I get another chance I plan to try out multiple different lengths and positions. Standing, sitting, lying down, rope above adam's apple, rope below adam's apple, so on until I really zero in on my sweet spot. If I can quickly compress my carotid arteries with the correct angle and correct amount of pressure then I should be out within seconds and unable to experience the panicky symptoms.

 

[s1mplem3]

Something's wrong then, I would suggest to look at other methods. Losing hearing is unusual.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Something's wrong then, I would suggest to look at other methods. Losing hearing is unusual.

Actually it's not. Sounds like the jugulars are compressed.

OP, overcoming the body's reactions is not possible. Overcoming SI? If you're desperate and determined enough, you can maybe push through. I think about the World Trade Center attacks and the people who jumped rather than face the fire. I still would not have been able to overcome my fear of heights.

This may simply not be a doable method for you.

 

[Vertigo]

Actually it's not. Sounds like the jugulars are compressed.

OP, overcoming the body's reactions is not possible. Overcoming SI? If you're desperate and determined enough, you can maybe push through. I think about the World Trade Center attacks and the people who jumped rather than face the fire. I still would not have been able to overcome my fear of heights.

This may simply not be a doable method for you.

No no i'm very determined to do it with this method tonight, unless I don't have the place to myself or something out of my control happens... I will kill myself tonight
I will disable my account so when it does you know I am no longer alive

 

[C_F]

We want the best for you and for you to find peace. Please do what you feel you have to. Speaking for myself, I'm not sure how I feel about sending over encouragement to overcome SI to CTB in the next couple hours :( We are here for you though, emotionally.

 

[Vertigo]

i'm preparing to head out to where i'll ctb, hopefully this is my last post :)
bye bye everyone

 

[MsMaudlin]

i'm preparing to head out to where i'll ctb, hopefully this is my last post :)
bye bye

Surrounding you with strength for a safe and gentle journey.
Sending you lots of love ❤

 

[Lastravel]

Good luck with whatever you decide. Partial is not easy way to go, hope you'll not get too much trouble with it.

 

[Donk]

i'm preparing to head out to where i'll ctb, hopefully this is my last post :)
bye bye everyone

may peace be with you my friend

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Peaceful journey

 

[AlreadyGone]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Alec]

Wherever you are now, I hope you are ok and in peace