This place is really triggering

[Cloud Busting]

I can already see what people are typing before I hit the post button. "Why post here then?"

When I was first here, it was like an oasis. Broadcasting thoughts I felt uncomfortable sharing, feeling like I could be myself for once. It was like a high.

Now I come here and I feel mostly shame and grief and paranoia and fear and horror and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way and selfish

Maybe I just don't post in the recovery section enough

 

[CleanGopher]

I can already see what people are typing before I hit the post button. "Why post here then?"

When I was first here, it was like an oasis. Broadcasting thoughts I felt uncomfortable sharing, feeling like I could be myself for once. It was like a high.

Now I come here and I feel mostly shame and grief and paranoia and fear and horror and of course I feel guilty for feeling that way and selfish

Maybe I just don't post in the recovery section enough

It's not that big of a deal, everyone's feelings are valid and matter, don't overthink it mate

 

[hurts2b]

It's not just you. This space is one designed for people in the dredges of hopelessness and mental illness. Who. Want permission to self destruct. Or who, at least, haven't written off death as an option. Most people leave this site to recover. It is absolutely. A triggering place to be for someone who is committed to getting better (or not getting worse). Nothing wrong with being upset by. Upsetting things.

 

[EternalShore]

if this website makes you feel that way, I wouldn't recommend staying or just sticking more so to Off-topic/Recovery/the private board like you suggested, so you can enjoy your life more and feel better with fewer things that make you upset~ :)

Regulating your environment a fair bit by ignoring particularly inflammatory individuals can help too~ altho, ofc, more always come, but it does help some~

 

[thereishope220]

When I was first here, it was like an oasis. Broadcasting thoughts I felt uncomfortable sharing, feeling like I could be myself for once. It was like a high.

Now I come here and I feel mostly shame and grief and paranoia and fear

Described it perfectly lol

 

[Cloud Busting]

It's not that big of a deal, everyone's feelings are valid and matter, don't overthink it mate

I worry the feelings of others are invalidated by my feelings LOL

It's not just you. This space is one designed for people in the dredges of hopelessness and mental illness. Who. Want permission to self destruct. Or who, at least, haven't written off death as an option. Most people leave this site to recover. It is absolutely. A triggering place to be for someone who is committed to getting better (or not getting worse). Nothing wrong with being upset by. Upsetting things.

Recovery spaces are difficult for me. I don't sell a story of hope, I don't have any recovery goals, it's just a journey a ride. I'm dark. I'm cynical. I just want to share my experiences, that's all. I don't want advice or a competition of who's recovering the fastest. I see people say they just love their therapist and look forward to going whereas I dread every session. If I wasn't in love with my supportive bf and I didn't get charged a fee for a no call no show I wouldn't have stuck with it I'd drop it by now.

Yeah… most recovery spaces and mental health places…. I don't belong

Yet I get triggered here! I've created my own friendly space on discord mostly I was on discord and was rarely here for awhile. But I have ties here… I broadcasted my attempt here, some of my old friends from the ribbon days are here. I feel like I owe it to the community. I feel like I'm being disturbed by people in need and it pains me. I don't know. I'm turning a blind eye to ppl who deserve to be listened to who are ignored all alone for my own selfish whims. lol

@EternalShore

Good advice. It's been suggested to me. But it's hard to ignore inflammatory comments… they need to be stopped…

Yeah I have a savior complex

I can't help others until I give myself what I need. Gonna start doing that (:

 

[SASU-KE]

Good advice. It's been suggested to me. But it's hard to ignore inflammatory comments… they need to be stopped…

Yeah I have a savior complex

I can't help others until I give myself what I need. Gonna start doing that (:

I can't help but recall the conversation you had in one thread

I was actually thinking the exact same thing at the time, but I didn't want to get in the middle. You didn't do anything wrong, but there was quite some hostility from the other party. And even though you tried to settle them down, that was only met with even more hostility.

 

[Cloud Busting]

I can't help but recall the conversation you had in one thread

I was actually thinking the exact same thing at the time, but I didn't want to get in the middle. You didn't do anything wrong, but there was quite some hostility from the other party. And even though you tried to settle them down, that was only met with even more hostility.

Feel free to pm me I don't remember this lol but sounds about right

Thanks for the advice I'd of written you off as an idiot sheeple you were right to not get in the middle

It is so kind of you to wait until I'm ready to hear something

Can you tell, even if my mind is still a dumpster fire, that I've come a long way?

 

[SASU-KE]

Feel free to pm me I don't remember this lol but sounds about right

There was a possum involved

Thanks for the advice I'd of written you off as an idiot sheeple you were right to not get in the middle

It is so kind of you to wait until I'm ready to hear something

Can you tell, even if my mind is still a dumpster fire, that I've come a long way?

No, honestly, there are many people who can be stand offish.You were kind and trying to provide some good input, but the discussion went south regardless.

Sometimes even the best intentions can't do much good.

 

[Cloud Busting]

There was a possum involved

No, honestly, there are many people who can be stand offish.You were kind and trying to provide some good input, but the discussion went south regardless.

Sometimes even the best intentions can't do much good.

I recall me trying to argue with ppl who were pro eugenics oh dear lord

I've done this quite a few times but the poor little possum did pop into my mind she was last seen in June hadn't posted since may she was banned from Reddit really needing support and she disappeared and I hope she's alright and safe like did I scare off a vulnerable person in need


Here I am once again worrying about internet strangers more than myself

I feel so numb and detached from myself idek who I am it's easier to save others but you can only save yourself and you cause more trauma hurting rather than healing

I feel selfish and guilty when I don't help others

Gotta get over this savior complex dawg it's why I tried to kill mysekf and made a good bye thread in first place

 

[SASU-KE]

I've done this quite a few times but the poor little possum did pop into my mind she was last seen in June hadn't posted since may she was banned from Reddit really needing support and she disappeared and I hope she's alright and safe like did I scare off a vulnerable person in need

I honestly laughed so hard at the point when you said you're leaving and then came back and gave hugs for almost every post

Of course you didn't say you won't be returning.

I'm not poking fun at you, I'm just saying your easy going and that's a good thing. I too try being jovial as much as I can , but sometimes some people get angry or think that I'm not sad or depressed enough.Well I try to be as upbeat as possible.

Don't stop being yourself. You're being kind, even when people retreat from you or even turn hostile.That's a rare trait. But of course, not at the cost of your own sanity.