This officially sucks

[trulyfeelhopeless]

I legit just discovered this site to help me thru and be able to talk to ppl who feel and think like I am and this whole crap w nyt and trying to get the site shut down is horrific, I have even more anxiety now that I can't even be free on this forum this is tragically sad and I know I speak for everyone here when I say it's unfair af

 

[montana007]

I legit just discovered this site to help me thru and be able to talk to ppl who feel and think like I am and this whole crap w nyt and trying to get the site shut down is horrific, I have even more anxiety now that I can't even be free on this forum this is tragically sad and I know I speak for everyone here when I say it's unfair af

Right. Well. Let's hear your story then. We all have one.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

Right. Well. Let's hear your story then. We all have one.

Grew up in South Korea to a father who left my mom when she said she was pregnant with me. She tried her best for two years to care for me but just couldn't. Was adopted by an American family and brought to the us. Father was great and loving, my mother we have always been estranged and this worsened after his death when I was 14. High school went by and I didn't get to finish the college, but managed to find a good job for the past 9 years. Mom got diagnosed with heart failure and I lost my job when I took time off to care for her. My roommate left and took her dog with her. They were part of my life for so long. Had a depressive episode four or five years back which almost took me. I found my way out of it idkh. But this time all these life changes have fucked me mentally. As much I can say it's situational circumstances I also just don't have the love for life I used to and the depression and anxiety only makes it worse. I don't see myself winning by the fight this time and it breaks my heart. In some small way I feel like we all want to in the tiniest way deep down inside find the light or hope they talk about. But at this point I just don't care I am so numbed out I can't deal at all. This is a shortened version. Now. What's yours. And thank you for asking about mine

 

[montana007]

Grew up in South Korea to a father who left my mom when she said she was pregnant with me. She tried her best for two years to care for me but just couldn't. Was adopted by an American family and brought to the us. Father was great and loving, my mother we have always been estranged and this worsened after his death when I was 14. High school went by and I didn't get to finish the college, but managed to find a good job for the past 9 years. Mom got diagnosed with heart failure and I lost my job when I took time off to care for her. My roommate left and took her dog with her. They were part of my life for so long. Had a depressive episode four or five years back which almost took me. I found my way out of it idkh. But this time all these life changes have fucked me mentally. As much I can say it's situational circumstances I also just don't have the love for life I used to and the depression and anxiety only makes it worse. I don't see myself winning by the fight this time and it breaks my heart. In some small way I feel like we all want to in the tiniest way deep down inside find the light or hope they talk about. But at this point I just don't care I am so numbed out I can't deal at all. This is a shortened version. Now. What's yours. And thank you for asking about mine

Thanks for responding. I was a bit worried that my initial reply to you was a bit forwa or blunt. But I sort of got the impression from your first post that you wanted to interact or chat and which you're now doing which is a great sign.
I'll get to my story tomorrow. But for what it's worth. I feel you re: the dog and on a good few other things too.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I legit just discovered this site to help me thru and be able to talk to ppl who feel and think like I am and this whole crap w nyt and trying to get the site shut down is horrific, I have even more anxiety now that I can't even be free on this forum this is tragically sad and I know I speak for everyone here when I say it's unfair af

Yeah, I know how you feel, I haven't been here that long either. But stick around, who knows where this will go.

 

[trulyfeelhopeless]

Yeah, I know how you feel, I haven't been here that long either. But stick around, who knows where this will go.

I hope they don't shut this down, it's an outlet for all of us

Thanks for responding. I was a bit worried that my initial reply to you was a bit forwa or blunt. But I sort of got the impression from your first post that you wanted to interact or chat and which you're now doing which is a great sign.
I'll get to my story tomorrow. But for what it's worth. I feel you re: the dog and on a good few other things too.

I try my best to respond to everyone that answers me, out of decency and gratitude for even reaching out to me. This is the only place I feel safe to talk about how I feel so you're def right. Okay, I lol forward to hearing it. It's crazy how life and it's circumstances can turn you inside out

 

[montana007]

Grew up in South Korea to a father who left my mom when she said she was pregnant with me. She tried her best for two years to care for me but just couldn't. Was adopted by an American family and brought to the us. Father was great and loving, my mother we have always been estranged and this worsened after his death when I was 14. High school went by and I didn't get to finish the college, but managed to find a good job for the past 9 years. Mom got diagnosed with heart failure and I lost my job when I took time off to care for her. My roommate left and took her dog with her. They were part of my life for so long. Had a depressive episode four or five years back which almost took me. I found my way out of it idkh. But this time all these life changes have fucked me mentally. As much I can say it's situational circumstances I also just don't have the love for life I used to and the depression and anxiety only makes it worse. I don't see myself winning by the fight this time and it breaks my heart. In some small way I feel like we all want to in the tiniest way deep down inside find the light or hope they talk about. But at this point I just don't care I am so numbed out I can't deal at all. This is a shortened version. Now. What's yours. And thank you for asking about mine

Good morning.

How's things with you?

I'm responding because I undertook to do so. And like you: I make it a habit to respond to people and not leave them hanging. If only there were more such type of people around nowadays? People don't give a shit anymore. You send emails to somebody (even if just business related) and no response. At all. No 'thank you for your email and I'll get back to you". Those days are seemingly gone. If nothing else it'just bad fucking manners and unprofessional.

I don't know that as of right now I have the energy to share "my story" as was agreed yesterday. Maybe later. But we'll get there (although it's not that interesting I don't think).

South Korea? Never been in direct contact with anybody from South Korea. And I take a great deal of interest in all that goes on that side of the world.

On a lighter note:

How's that dude that "defected" the other day from South Korea to North Korea? That's not something you hear about happening too often let's be honest. Must admit: i had a wicked thought when it happened i.e. that's one fucking way of getting the (suicide) job done? Don a military uniform, get a toy gun, and go screaming and shouting and waving the gun around across the demilitarized zone!