Thinking about death

[Josuyo]

I am so much happier thinking about dying but naturally I really don't want to mess up another attempt.

I think I'm making progress with the rope. But I'm also considering N, it's just so much and the risk if being caught or it not working. Idk if anyone knows of people who have had it and succeeded in ctb.

Every day is just another day proving how little I mean to everyone. I am nothing. I will never have a normal life or just the simple things I hoped I could have.

I've been betrayed and abused by the people I cared most about, who I thought loved me. I know my death will mean nothing to anyone but surely I didn't deserve what I've been through.

I've dome everything to be nice and kind and considerate to others. I worked so hard in school and uni. Nothing I ever did amounted to anything. I wasn't good enough for anyone. I'm still gutted my last attempt failed.

I legitimately pray my next attempt will be successful.

I'm desperate to die.

 

[Sanva]

I'm sorry you were treated unfairly. It's so hard to find an accesible and reliable method, I struggle with that too. I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me, the thought of being dead is comforting, I just want non existence, I have had enough of life but I am also held back by the fear of failure. I wish we lived in a society that respected the right to die and then we could just exit peacefully at a time of our own choosing. I'm sorry you are suffering so much, I understand the feelings of desperation. Some people are just so cruel and awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Josuyo]

To me, the thought of being dead is comforting, I just want non existence, I have had enough of life but I am also held back by the fear of failure. I wish we lived in a society that respected the right to die and then we could just exit peacefully at a time of our own choosing. I'm sorry you are suffering so much, I understand the feelings of desperation. Some people are just so cruel and awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Ik what you mean. I have so many disadvantages being disabled, neurodivergant, mentally ill and with ptsd and trauma. I fall in and out of abusive relationships because I don't know what it's like to be treated right.