Things will get better

[Onthe29th]

Though I appreciate the optimism, but I don't like it when people say this because they don't actually know if things will get better.What are your thoughts?

 

[8AEM]

I used to say that. Dumb.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

As I've said before, it'll most likely get better... and then worse... and then better... and then worse. What's important isn't if things are going to change, but if the total experience is worthwhile. As I see it, life is just like listening to a song/watching a movie/playing a videogame. If it's generally awful but has a few good moments sprinkled in, then I still don't want to hear it/watch it/play it.

 

[som1]

the problem is me not things. most peoples problem's r caused by external matter but if it's u, then there is no fixing it.

 

[Chaestergram]

I don't tolerate people telling me this, I automatically reply a straightforward « stfu » but I do say it to myself ONLY if I am indeed making the effort for things to get better, if I don't have the intention to work on myself and have my life back on track I don't feed myself with lies since I know I'm not going to do anything to change what's causing me to think the opposite of it

 

[t-rex]

As I've said before, it'll most likely get better... and then worse... and then better... and then worse. What's important isn't if things are going to change, but if the total experience is worthwhile. As I see it, life is just like listening to a song/watching a movie/playing a videogame. If it's generally awful but has a few good moments sprinkled in, then I still don't want to hear it/watch it/play it.

Exactly. The cousin to "things will get better" is "this is just a temporary state". So tired of hearing that. Yeah, true, so what? The awfulness always comes back around again. It gets better for a little bit, but the despair *always* comes back, thereby disabling me. I feel a little better, so I get deluded into thinking I'm ready to apply for a job. Then I get suicidal again and realize I can't possibly go be around people and work when I'm breaking down in tears all the time. Who is to say that this cycle is not permanent?

 

[little helpers]

yeah like @Chaestergram said, when I need things to get better, it doesn't hurt to tweak my perception a certain way in order to get to a place *I* want for myself. also like, does any non-suicidal people even realize that for many of us here death is how things gets better? that quite a lot of us have similar words or prayers for when we ctb? (thread titled with something like "what would you say to yourself before you ctb".)

IMO that's just a prayer. if it's answered by chance they're just real fucking lucky. prayers are meant to bring a person peace of mind. when it's agitating the other person, it just shouldn't be said.

Who is to say that this cycle is not permanent?

agreed. everything in life is a hamster wheel IMO.

 

[Callie Arcale]

I think a more appropiate way to put it would be "Things might get better." It is always a possibility, however improbable.
Unless you are terminally ill, of course.

 

[GentleJerk]

Depends.

For some of us like me, It's awfully presumptuous at best, downright dismissive at worst.

 

[FuneralCry]

Many people are delusional. I cannot stand toxic positivity. I think personally for me, things will only get better when I die. I believe that wanting suicide is perfectly rational in a world as horrible as this and I will never not be bothered by life. Wanting to die is who I am, and no matter what would happen, I would still feel empty. I do not want any kind of life, I just want eternal nothingness.

 

[Painless_end]

Things may get better if you still have potential for mental growth in your life in future and acceptance of what life might be like for you, roughly speaking, as you grow older.

If you don't have any more potential left for mental growth anymore then things are unlikely to get any better.

According to me, that's all there is to it.

 

[SanguineHare]

It really makes me upset when people say this because things don't always get better for everyone. Sometimes things can get way worse even. Sure there might be some good moments inbetween all the bad stuff but that doesn't make all the bad worth it either.

 

[Rational man]

False positivity is the means to wash away the problem rather than face the situation directly. Its for the benefit of the person saying it. What evidence is provided to confirm that life improves. We live in a world of empty soundbites.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Ah yes, one of the sayings I hate the most. I've a feeling they do it because everyone else says it. Not much thought is put into it, nor are they considerate. In a way, I think it's meant to make you shut up, just like the "deal with it" or "you're not entitled to...", but in a kinder way.

I'm proof that things only can get worse. Year after year, I miss the previous years, which were also shitty, just because I feel they sucked less.

 

[Crazy4u]

For me it is about who is saying it, why they are saying it,....etc. Some people mean well and some are toxic AF.

 

[9BBN]

The problem with people who say this is that it's often said without even listening. It's also an empty form of hopefulness that doesn't offer any kind of path forward or justification for it.

 

[waitingforrest]

I feel like saying that is just a canned optimist response. It fails to acknowledge the pain the sufferer is in. While it is nice to think that it could get better, most of us here just want it to get better now. Not wait for when or if. Sometimes the opposite is true, it just gets worse.

 

[t-rex]

Things You Should Never Say to Someone Struggling With Depression

Even when you mean well, you might be causing more harm than good.

lifehacker.com

They mentioned "things will get better" under the heading "this too shall pass". Some other cringey ones in here as well.

 

[Sanva]

it makes me angry because everyone used to tell me this and i used to believe it. but for me, life has just gotten worse with every year. now it just seems like a half assed phrase neurotypicals throw around when they want to feel good about "helping" without actually doing anything

 

[Onthe29th]

it makes me angry because everyone used to tell me this and i used to believe it. but for me, life has just gotten worse with every year. now it just seems like a half assed phrase neurotypicals throw around when they want to feel good about "helping" without actually doing anything

They hear everyone else say the same thing and they think it actually helps people but it doesn't. I just let them think that what they're doing is good. I've given up on everything and everyone at this point.

 

[wait.what]

I can't stand this one. It's useless and dismissive at best, and at worst it's pure gaslighting.

 

[Samsal112]

I hate when people say this, but I also understand why they say it. There are people who don't experience depression. Sure, they have been sad, apathetic at times, but not depressed clinically. Things DO get better. That's life. Everything changes. But if it's not only external factors that are making you suicidal, then no, it may not get better. My mom tells me this every time I bring up my illness. But life doesn't owe us anything. Some things do not change for the better. I have a medical condition, and she can't understand that it may not be going anywhere. I now have PTSD from my sickness, so how can I just overcome PTSD and be happy living life again when I KNOW how ugly it can be?

 

[blueclover_.]

Casual toxic positivity.

 

[NumbItAll]

Exactly. The cousin to "things will get better" is "this is just a temporary state". So tired of hearing that. Yeah, true, so what? The awfulness always comes back around again. It gets better for a little bit, but the despair *always* comes back, thereby disabling me. I feel a little better, so I get deluded into thinking I'm ready to apply for a job. Then I get suicidal again and realize I can't possibly go be around people and work when I'm breaking down in tears all the time. Who is to say that this cycle is not permanent?

Yeah, funny how no one ever preaches this regarding positive developments. Well, except maybe among those of us with a negative outlook.

*person gets a new job, is excited*

"Don't worry, this happiness will pass. New problems will arise and you'll be miserable again in no time."