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Lish

Lish

I, too, shall burn
Jun 4, 2024
39
I told my partner that I got my firearms license. She knows I've been suicidal multiple times. She expressed no concern and was even excited that I would get a firearm for home defense.

Either she doesn't believe I will actually do it or she doesn't care. She doesn't know that she's part of the issue. I've been taking care of people my entire life. I've been forced to be the sycophant for verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive people around me. I've been the step stool.

I can't wait to ctb and have them stumble. They won't have their whipping boy anymore. Part of why I want to ctb is to absolutely destroy everyone who is parasitic toward me. If I had the money, I'd get away. But I've been a fool and reached out to the world. In return, every time, the world has sank its claws into my organs and refuses to let go.

Soon, I will rip myself away.

Hoping to buy either a Winchester or Mossberg shotgun with 00 buckshot ammunition and keep it in a storage unit with my exit supplies. Just talking about my ctb plans makes me feel better. I have to remember....I am in control now.
 
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