Venting there was a time it was this bad, right??

[Pretty Dull]

everyone always says life gets better, but it never does, things have only gotten progressively worse the longer i've been alive. I've been miserable as long as i can remember, and I've never wanted anything out of life. I always told myself I was on the verge of killing myself so I never made any long term plans or goals or ambitions,
all I want is a successful suicide attempt I have no desire to do anything with my life, but end it

the drugs have brought out some sort of schizophrenia, I mean there was a time when I wasn't this paranoid or delusional or crazy or depressed and I'll never be able to get back to that I've irreversibly ruined myself

I'll probably eventually delete this, oversharing on the internet always has its consequences

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

So sorry this is happening to you. You just described my life. You don't have to delete your post as this is a safe and understanding community. I hope you find peace from your suffering.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand how you feel, I have never wanted to be alive and for me life has only ever been dread and misery. I know that it can be horrible when things just get worse, I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best.