The tragedy of being a high functioning train wreck

[Insomniac]

People in my life describes me as "fresh", "happy" "highly sociable" "high potential".

Yet.

Nobody is aware of the internal suffering I'm going through. No one knows how painful it is to be me and how miraculous it is that I'm even able to talk.

Being mentally ill can sometimes be worse than physical illness. No one acknowledge your disability. No one sees it as such. No one thinks you deserve a special treatment for Being fucking sick.

Everyone acts like you're just not trying. That you're lazy. That you're chosing to be negative, etc.

I'm not saying that physically ill people don't suffer, I'm just saying that at least, they don't have to go through the guilt (at least not as much) of feeling like they're just not trying hard enough.

 

[SheJumped]

I can relate, on the surface no one suspects anything is wrong, the day dreams about suicide or even the strength it takes to be vocal in a meeting.
The aggravating comments you need to be more positive or try a little harder.
What isn't seen is the amount of effort that goes into showing up, waking up and the first thought is I wish I had died in my sleep and the last thought when you can eventally sleep is I hope I never wake up.

 

[Insomniac]

What isn't seen is the amount of effort that goes into showing up

This.

And the day you kill yourself they make that surprised pikkachu face.

 

[unperson]

People in my life describes me as "fresh", "happy" "highly sociable" "high potential".

Yet.

Nobody is aware of the internal suffering I'm going through. No one knows how painful it is to be me and how miraculous it is that I'm even able to talk.

Being mentally ill can sometimes be worse than physical illness. No one acknowledge your disability. No one sees it as such. No one thinks you deserve a special treatment for Being fucking sick.

Everyone acts like you're just not trying. That you're lazy. That you're chosing to be negative, etc.

I'm not saying that physically ill people don't suffer, I'm just saying that at least, they don't have to go through the guilt (at least not as much) of feeling like they're just not trying hard enough.

This is exactly what had me so angry; I've since stopped caring and just kinda accepted the hopeless irredeemable condition of human beings being a bunch of judgmental primate assholes but I also feel hollow and alone and don't take any inspiration from my shitty attitude but anyway, it's really awful when people invalidate your suffering and debilitation by pointing out positive traits. Like people don't get it even when it's obvious; look at how many successful and intelligent and famous and talented likable people have died by suicide. And imagine the arrogance of thinking that they were all just delusional or crazy because of their choice to end it. Mental illness is getting more awareness but not enough RESPECT. Depression for example is so fucking dismissed these days because everyone and their mother has gone through an episode or two. But when you have multiple issues and try dozens of meds and years of therapy and still can't manage to take a shower and listen to voicemails and brush your teeth very often it gets real fucking tiring trying to talk to anyone about it—except here on SS, this place is the best for those who need it

 

[mossball]

I feel there's nothing of value I can add to what you said... It resonated with me a lot. I feel like all people in general and doctors care about is how much we're able to function. As long as we're functioning, they can forget about us and put us to work.

 

[Insomniac]

Mental illness is getting more awareness but not enough RESPECT

It's getting more awareness but the people who were ill first get no recognition or "reparation" whatsoever and by the time mental illness has gotten a little more awareness, their condition has dramatically worsened and it's too late The mental health "awareness" available today is only benefiting the normies who have just recently come to realise that something might be wrong with our societies and are feeling a little anxious as a result

 

[FuneralCry]

You can appear fine on the outside but can be completely different on the inside, I get that. Other people who don't understand simply haven't been through it themselves, they haven't suffered from a mental illness. Just because they cannot see it doesn't mean it isn't real and doesn't debilitate you.