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WaitingForTheBusInTh

Student
Nov 18, 2020
174
I almost feel like trying to give life another go, but after spending the last 2 years, and particularly the last 6 months heavily in the CTB mindset, I feel like I've lost too much time to back out. Like I have no job. I have sent out over 100 applications in a month and gotten nothing. My savings wont last forever. If I was gonna try to live I'd be giving up my freedom and living with my mom.
And then there's the part of me that keeps saying to follow through with something for once in my life goddammit.
Idk. I'm always so scared of choices and consequences. I really need someone to tell me one way or the other is definitely going to work out, even though that's a really immature way of thinking. I hate this
 
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WornOutLife

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,183
They say you need to be at the bottom of the sea so as to be able to enjoy the surface of the world.
I feel as if I wasted way too much time because of my depression, bipolar disorder and failed attempts but now I'm trying to live. It's not easy and I dunno if I will be able to give life another shot until I'm grey and old but well, let's see what happens.
 
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S

Steve Vermont

Student
Feb 27, 2020
175
Look, this is what I say to myself when I get where you are: "You can always kill yourself tomorrow".

There is no investment in CTB. You WILL die one day. I guaran-fucking-tee it. All you need to ask yourself is, "Can I get through tomorrow?"

Anything you manage to do beyond that is just gravy.
 
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