The Suicide Xmas Carol

[Johnnythefox]

Sing to the tune of Jingle Bells.

 

[Sanguinius]

Lolol xD

 

[Johnnythefox]

Lolol xD

I've too much time on my hands.

 

[MsM3talGamer]

Nice job! :D

 

[Whatshername]

I've too much time on my hands.

Well, considering the site we are on, I think you used it wisely :)

 

[Moony21]

Haha that made laughing

 

[Xerxes]

Fuckin genius man!

 

[JustLosingMyself]

The MASH theme?

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Lol that's great. You should do some to other songs or about other methods

 

[Johnnythefox]

The twelve ways of Christmas.


On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A guide on how to CTB,
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of Nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
12 hours to die
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB.
​

 

[MsM3talGamer]

This is great! You've got a real talent for this. I see you put my CTB method (morphine milkshake) in there too. :D

 

[Johnnythefox]

This is great! You've got a real talent for this. I see you put my CTB method (morphine milkshake) in there too. :D

I knew I'd seen it somewhere!
I wonder if Hallmark would consider me for a position!

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I knew I'd seen it somewhere!
I wonder if Hallmark would consider me for a position!

LOL. You could get someone to sing it and post it on Youtube. That would get the pro-lifers' knickers in a bunch. It would probably get taken down for "promoting suicide".

 

[Johnnythefox]

LOL. You could get someone to sing it and post it on Youtube. That would get the pro-lifers' knickers in a bunch. It would probably get taken down for "promoting suicide".

We could form a choir! To rival the Mormon tabernacle choir.

 

[iHeartRockArt]

The twelve ways of Christmas.


On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A guide on how to CTB,
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of Nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
12 hours to die
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB.
​

These are awesome! Haha, made me giggle this morning. I needed that. You have a talent there. Keep it up! I'd love to see more.

 

[Johnnythefox]

These are awesome! Haha, made me giggle this morning. I needed that. You have a talent there.l.keep it up! I'd love to see more.

Thanks @iHeartRockArt I'll see what I can come up with..

 

[therhydler]

The twelve ways of Christmas.


On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A guide on how to CTB,
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the third day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fourth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the fifth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the sixth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the seventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the ninth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the eleventh day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of Nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB,
On the twelfth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
12 hours to die
Eleven vials of N
Ten morphine milkshakes
Nine pounds of nitro
Eight feet of rope
Seven fentynal patches
Six rounds of ammo
Five grams of cyanide
Four pounds of SN
Three puffer fish
Two pounds of smack
And a guide on how to CTB.
​

I love this

 

[Johnnythefox]

I love this

Thanks, I'm trying to get into the Xmas spirit.

 

[Jodes]

I knew our ultra high IQ came from somewhere!! Genius man, had me in fits. Misses, not so much.

 

[Johnnythefox]

I knew our ultra high IQ came from somewhere!! Genius man, had me in fits. Misses, not so much.

Yes, one could perhaps see the underlying
connotations with the existential school of thought springing from the mind of the great all knowing walnut!
Or maybe not.

 

[iHeartRockArt]

Thanks @iHeartRockArt I'll see what I can come up with..

Awesome! I love writing parodies..I have written a few (not suicide related) in the past. Maybe I'll try to dig one up and share at some point.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Awesome! I love writing parodies..I have written a few (not suicide related) in the past. Maybe I'll try to dig one up and share at some point.

I have a habit of making up my own lyrics to well known songs.

E.g. Day tripper becomes gay stripper.
*I'm not homopbobic either *

 

[MsM3talGamer]

I have a habit of making up my own lyrics to well known songs.

E.g. Day tripper becomes gay stripper.
*I'm not homopbobic either *

I just love British humour. Hope you write more songs and poems.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

This is very good, johnny. I mean when is the last time you were like "fuck, I could really use some lords a leaping right now"?

 

[Jodes]

This is very good, johnny. I mean when is the last time you were like "fuck, I could really use some lords a leaping right now"?

They can all sod off, useless bastards

 

[Jodes]

Oh CTB, oh CTB...

 

[iHeartRockArt]

I have a habit of making up my own lyrics to well known songs.

E.g. Day tripper becomes gay stripper.
*I'm not homopbobic either *

Oh I totally do this! It's so much fun and great to exercise the noggin!

 

[ReadyasEver]

Very good Johnny, I might sing this strolling down the street. The looks on people's faces would be priceless.

 

[gingerplum]

You are disturbed. And hilarious. Take your filthy upvotes, Foxy.

 

[Johnnythefox]

Just some prayers if anyone is in the mood.



A Prayer to Keep Christmas Simple

Dear A, don't let us miss You this Christmas season. Help us to simplify our activities and traditions so we can focus our celebration on Your delivery. Thank You for being the Prince of Peace,Thank You for the simple but life-changing N.
Peace

A Prayer to Re-focus During the Holiday Season

Dear A, sometimes I get too caught in the Christmas commercialism. OK, a lot of times. Today, I'm going to refocus my heart and remember why I came on here in the first place.
Peace

Christmas thanks Prayer

Dear A, I thank you from all my heart and soul for sending N through the post!
Thank you for taking the time to pack it securely and discreetly.
Oh!! keep delivering to us forever, the world needs that.
Thank you A for sending those, this beautiful N.
Peace