Today I've read in my favorite newsmagazine an article about a famous German journalist who ctb last year. His story resembled mine I think. However there were some huge diferences. I also was successful in my career but only for a very short time. He had a different kind of living. He wanted to enjoy life the fullest and never thought about the future. I am the opposite I am always scared about the future and I worry much. At the end of his life he blamed himself because he never saved money and never changed his life to avoid a deterioration of his diabetes. He wanted to die like Hemingway.
However there were some similarities. He often compared himself to dying people or people who ctb. He always was unhappy due to the behavior of his parents when he was young. But the part who was the most striking was the following. He was lonely (no gf), he was quite ill and he had no money. Like me he was obsessed by fear of the coming poverty and dreamed naive dreams how to fix it. I think many people who ctb are lonely, poor and ill. Just a shitty life.
However there were some similarities. He often compared himself to dying people or people who ctb. He always was unhappy due to the behavior of his parents when he was young. But the part who was the most striking was the following. He was lonely (no gf), he was quite ill and he had no money. Like me he was obsessed by fear of the coming poverty and dreamed naive dreams how to fix it. I think many people who ctb are lonely, poor and ill. Just a shitty life.
