Discussion The Right of the Living to Mourn

[Polyxo]

If you are planning to CTB, and are privileged enough to have loved ones, do you plan to do everything you can to give those loved ones closure upon your death? Notes, gifts, funds, etc.?

The way I see it, I won't have any control over the way my family will mourn me. They should have the freedom to deal with my death in whatever way they see fit, like in the way funerals are meant for the living, not the dead.

I just don't want to hide so much of myself that they spend the rest of their lives suffering over so many loose ends that I have behind. I want them to be able to choose for themselves how they want to deal with all this... Be able to pick and choose how they want to remember me (or forget me). I honestly find any attempts to control their memory of me selfish, in consideration of the fact that I will already be forcing them to suffer by choosing to CTB.

 

[GeminiButter]

I think I will leave some requests/instructions but I know that these will only be requests and they might not happen because they won't be legally binding, and I can understand that. I remember being at a funeral as a teenager with my mum, my friend's older brother died from suicide. She said that services/funerals were for the living, in some discussion we had about what they were doing because it was what he wanted. So I've sort of accepted that. I'll try and figure out the things that are most important to me, and request those, but accept that it won't be up to me.