I would really liked if I had a gun, not only because it's my method of choice but also it don't require much planning and can be used impulsively, when you having unbearable hurt and pain that you can't take, like I'm having at my place but at the moment I. have not a method of choice to ctb, no matter how bad I wanna kill myself
the planned methods and far away from house man, it's really. Hard to find that drive for such long execution, and keeps me in circles at nights when I have not that amount of pain when I'm alone, hard to find that urge, and go through...
Like there's one person who is really being able to give me that kind of urge when I talk to her,
But I cant execute at that time, Maybe I'll call them up when I have to. Jump to give me the push am I right , But I'll have to take the pills first, I wonder should I take that push for the pills or the jump..or maybe both as I can't imagine not drowsing off after those many pills..
would also save her the guilt of watching me shoot myself,
Don't wanna leave her wounded she's not guilty of my tragedy but only givin me the trigger..
the planned methods and far away from house man, it's really. Hard to find that drive for such long execution, and keeps me in circles at nights when I have not that amount of pain when I'm alone, hard to find that urge, and go through...
Like there's one person who is really being able to give me that kind of urge when I talk to her,
But I cant execute at that time, Maybe I'll call them up when I have to. Jump to give me the push am I right , But I'll have to take the pills first, I wonder should I take that push for the pills or the jump..or maybe both as I can't imagine not drowsing off after those many pills..
would also save her the guilt of watching me shoot myself,
Don't wanna leave her wounded she's not guilty of my tragedy but only givin me the trigger..
