chocolatebar
Paragon
- Jul 11, 2021
- 973
I haven't looked at myself for about 10 years. It gives me strikes of repulsion that quickly extends through all my body, contracting my muscles in a reflexive impulse to look away, while suffering from angst waves, each one worse, until I collapse or find some energy to keep myself standing. Because of this, I learned to avoid mirrors and all kinds of reflexive surfaces, be it a puddle on the ground, some shining object, glasses, etc. It's tricky, but in time, it became instinctive and I barely notice it anymore, unless someone asks me why I hold my phone diagonally pointed to me or why I keep my fingers over my face in video calls.
Just about an hour ago, I walked past a mirror and for some reason, decided to look at myself. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. However, what awaited me at the other side was worse than my worst case expectations.
THE HORROR! That's the only word that can describe it. I saw the DECAY everywhere. I'm not that same person anymore. I'm rotting. I can see each detail, each scar, each line. The precursors to wrinkles are all around so I can draw the path and see the future. But not only that, but the shape isn't the same. I changed. The creature I saw there isn't the person I was.
As it it all wasn't enough, there are the nature's parasites over me, destroying my body for their malignant pleasure and purposeless growth, until they deform every portion of my skin. Yes, it's a disease. I can try to seek treatment, but the permanent damage is there. It's irreversible.
Now everything is ruined. I'm done
My recovery plans are gone. I'm starting the fasting and will plan my departure from this horrific world in the morning
Thank you, my friends and family. I will talk to you in more detail in the next day
Just about an hour ago, I walked past a mirror and for some reason, decided to look at myself. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal. However, what awaited me at the other side was worse than my worst case expectations.
THE HORROR! That's the only word that can describe it. I saw the DECAY everywhere. I'm not that same person anymore. I'm rotting. I can see each detail, each scar, each line. The precursors to wrinkles are all around so I can draw the path and see the future. But not only that, but the shape isn't the same. I changed. The creature I saw there isn't the person I was.
As it it all wasn't enough, there are the nature's parasites over me, destroying my body for their malignant pleasure and purposeless growth, until they deform every portion of my skin. Yes, it's a disease. I can try to seek treatment, but the permanent damage is there. It's irreversible.
Now everything is ruined. I'm done
My recovery plans are gone. I'm starting the fasting and will plan my departure from this horrific world in the morning
Thank you, my friends and family. I will talk to you in more detail in the next day
