The heavyness in my chest

[PeacefulTonic]

Does anyone else have this feeling, everyday?
I wake up to my reality, and there's the depression and anxiety hitting me immediately. The weight on my chest just does not go away. It's almost impossible to get out of bed except for using the bathroom. I don't even want to go out and get food for myself.
I'm just anxiously waiting for everything to be ready so I can ctb. I'm starting to care less and less about the people I'll hurt when I ctb. I just want to go already. There's literally no hope left for me in this world

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes, I feel like this all the time. Upon my every waking moments are feelings of hopelessness. It just never feels right being alive. Waking up is painful. All I want is to not exist and never have to experience anything ever again. It is tiring dealing with the same thoughts. I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

[oliviahurts]

Yh that weight I get too. I think it's anxiety. Used to get it all the time but not as much now.

 

[facel]

I get this every day too. That sheer dread that you've woken up and have to face the world and the problems in your life. And that knot of anxiety in the stomach that won't let go.

 

[PeacefulTonic]

Does it ever get much better? My life turned upside due to poor life choices I've made only a couple months ago. I'm wondering if it's even worth bothering to try to live and see. It hasn't gotten any better in these past two months, so I'm leaning towards sticking with my plan once everything is ready

 

[ClownMe]

Does it ever get much better? My life turned upside due to poor life choices I've made only a couple months ago. I'm wondering if it's even worth bothering to try to live and see. It hasn't gotten any better in these past two months, so I'm leaning towards sticking with my plan once everything is ready

It can turn around (at least temporarily), to be blunt, it mainly just depends on how lucky you get. Me personally, it hasn't turned around for me and I don't think it ever will, but that doesn't mean it won't turn around for you and hasn't turned around for others in the past. That's just my opinion anyway. I hope you find peace whatever you choose to do.

 

[patheticpartner]

I'm with you on that. I have mind-numbing feelings of dread and hopelessness. The thought of dying provides a temporary tolerance that enables me to halfheartedly interact with my surroundings and people, but I always feel weighed down by negative emotions despite all the distractions.