The harder I try the worse it gets

[Tonight634]

After being hospitalized for a suicide attempt I decided to at least try to make things better, taking antidepressants, work on some things in my life. But the harder I try the worse it gets. I hate the days when I have hope, because I know that it'll hurt even more to get back to reality. The more I want something, the further away it gets from me. I give up. I'm tired.

 

[Soulless Angel]

take it easy on yourself, stop putting high expectations, take a step back and one day at a time, don't let that hope go, I know what it's like to be tired, emotionally and physically, good days and bad days happen to us all. You just gotta take the good ones and ride out the shit. Just never give up

can I ask what took you to the point of a suicide attempt?

 

[gnomeboy17]

I went through a similar thing recently. I was going to ctb in February 2020 but then I didn't and then lockdown happened and the things that made me stressed in everyday life went away. I tried, I really did. And as long as you tried that's what matters in the end. If you've really given life a go and it doesn't feel like it's getting any better, there's nothing wrong with wanting to end it.

Although I, myself am 18. I would recommend perhaps waiting till your older if it's something that may become manageable with age. Having said that, pain is subjective, and if you really can't deal with it then it's your choice in the end.

Best wishes either way! :)

 

[TooConscious]

I started to believe there was a God just laughing at my pain throwing my effort back in my face.

 

[Red]

That goddamn shiny hope *shakes fist*