Gloomic
Member
- Aug 14, 2026
- 25
As someone who always wanted to achieve greatly to make a positive impact on people and for respect and recognition of my work, I could never achieve that type of success.
The thing with masters, prodigies, etc, is that it is unattainable to the average and below people.
A simple push or influence in another direction from the people around you could completely erase any potential for a person to grow in a particular desired field. Being low-income could make those opportunities not available. Being disabled. Having a small social circle.
Being at the top isn't a picture perfect life, but it was like fate put them in the right place at the right time with the right people.
That isn't to say that improving and learning isn't the responsiblity of the person, there are plenty of ways in which I contributed to the poor outcome of my life, but I wanted to point out how those things mentioned leave people at a disadvantage.
That's the story of life. Accept that you could never become what you truly want, and work with what you have.
It's as if those people exist to humble us. There will always be someone who will best you in your knowledge and skills in your interests. When you try to be the one most knowledgeable it will devolve into it being for the wrong reason of seeking validation, ruining the purpose of having an interest for the enjoyment of yourself.
I worked very hard in high school. Student council and honor society member. I didn't have perfect grades, but it was close enough for me. I tried my best to be friendly and outgoing. Hated studying, but took every chance to improve my grade.
I don't want to come across as bitter toward someone else's success, but I must make a comparison.
A girl I went to school with would talk about cheating on her exams. Distracted on her phone as a helper at the fundraising events. Admittedly, she had an important load of other things at the same time, for example, a job. Though, from what I witnessed, she was distracted during the job too. I could only view things from an outside perspective, I don't know the reasoning behind her actions. Point is, I worked just as hard as this person, possibly harder.
I thought doing things by the book would pay off. I would spend days coming up with the perfect college essay for admission. Of course, I failed getting into any prestigious institution.
I see the girl who I watched take shortcuts throughout the school year get accepted into a prestigious instutition.
I was neutral about it, and still harbor no hatred, but it is a vital point to how sometimes you are just dealt a bad hand.
The years pass by, I said to myself that I'll get into a prestigious institution eventually, I just have to wait until I can get the okay to leave the area I'm in.
I get accepted as a transfer into a decent school, and my parent denies me from the institution. Conclusively, they look at me as still a child. After all the work that I've done, I've never made it into the above average level.
So many times I've cut this skin for relief from stressing over school work and punish myself over guilt and shame. The amount of nights of sleep deprivation from overworking on homework and my mind. I couldn't see myself living as an adult, but my hope clinged on. One day I'll be out of that prison and into the life I could be proud of and say that it was worth it.
It was all for nothing.
I sit at my computer, looking at the programming sequences of my homework from my low-tier school. It all feels so above me at this point since I failed at everything else. So inachievable.
I understand that I should be grateful for getting into a school in the first place. Plenty of other people can't get any sort of education due to varying circumstances. While, I can be grateful I'm getting an education, I could also say that I'm not thrilled it wasn't the exceptionality I was working for.
I've been a disappointment for too long. If not a single book agent glances at my submission, it might be my final straw.
The thing with masters, prodigies, etc, is that it is unattainable to the average and below people.
A simple push or influence in another direction from the people around you could completely erase any potential for a person to grow in a particular desired field. Being low-income could make those opportunities not available. Being disabled. Having a small social circle.
Being at the top isn't a picture perfect life, but it was like fate put them in the right place at the right time with the right people.
That isn't to say that improving and learning isn't the responsiblity of the person, there are plenty of ways in which I contributed to the poor outcome of my life, but I wanted to point out how those things mentioned leave people at a disadvantage.
That's the story of life. Accept that you could never become what you truly want, and work with what you have.
It's as if those people exist to humble us. There will always be someone who will best you in your knowledge and skills in your interests. When you try to be the one most knowledgeable it will devolve into it being for the wrong reason of seeking validation, ruining the purpose of having an interest for the enjoyment of yourself.
I worked very hard in high school. Student council and honor society member. I didn't have perfect grades, but it was close enough for me. I tried my best to be friendly and outgoing. Hated studying, but took every chance to improve my grade.
I don't want to come across as bitter toward someone else's success, but I must make a comparison.
A girl I went to school with would talk about cheating on her exams. Distracted on her phone as a helper at the fundraising events. Admittedly, she had an important load of other things at the same time, for example, a job. Though, from what I witnessed, she was distracted during the job too. I could only view things from an outside perspective, I don't know the reasoning behind her actions. Point is, I worked just as hard as this person, possibly harder.
I thought doing things by the book would pay off. I would spend days coming up with the perfect college essay for admission. Of course, I failed getting into any prestigious institution.
I see the girl who I watched take shortcuts throughout the school year get accepted into a prestigious instutition.
I was neutral about it, and still harbor no hatred, but it is a vital point to how sometimes you are just dealt a bad hand.
The years pass by, I said to myself that I'll get into a prestigious institution eventually, I just have to wait until I can get the okay to leave the area I'm in.
I get accepted as a transfer into a decent school, and my parent denies me from the institution. Conclusively, they look at me as still a child. After all the work that I've done, I've never made it into the above average level.
So many times I've cut this skin for relief from stressing over school work and punish myself over guilt and shame. The amount of nights of sleep deprivation from overworking on homework and my mind. I couldn't see myself living as an adult, but my hope clinged on. One day I'll be out of that prison and into the life I could be proud of and say that it was worth it.
It was all for nothing.
I sit at my computer, looking at the programming sequences of my homework from my low-tier school. It all feels so above me at this point since I failed at everything else. So inachievable.
I understand that I should be grateful for getting into a school in the first place. Plenty of other people can't get any sort of education due to varying circumstances. While, I can be grateful I'm getting an education, I could also say that I'm not thrilled it wasn't the exceptionality I was working for.
I've been a disappointment for too long. If not a single book agent glances at my submission, it might be my final straw.
