The demonization of personality disorders

[LossOfWill]

People with personality disorders are demonized very harshly, and I'm sick of seeing articles and websites making it seem like we are evil and a lost cause. Everyone seems to forget that we with PDs have said PDs because of abuse. I did not choose to have BPD and NPD. It doesn't make me inherently abusive.

FUCK so called self proclaimed empaths. I hate you.

 

[CFLoser]

It's really obvious nobody is empathetic for people with personality disorders.

Whenever there is someone who people deem "mean" or "evil," people will call them socio or psychopaths because they think that label hits hard.

Another common one is narcissistic.

 

[LossOfWill]

It's really obvious nobody is empathetic for people with personality disorders.

Whenever there is someone who people deem "mean" or "evil," people will call them socio or psychopaths because they think that label hits hard.

Another common one is narcissistic.

You're absolutely right. It's tiring seeing it all the time

 

[Ta555]

I think the term personality disorder is disgusting. Imagine being labelled like that. Not just you have anxiety or depression or something of that nature but being told your whole personality, basically your whole personhood, is disordered, messed up, sick. It makes me so fucking angry. I don't believe people have personality disorders. People labelled as such are people with a lot of trauma and emotional and psychological wounds that need help and healing and empathy and then to go and say their 'personality' is a disorder, it sickens me. I hate psychiatry.

 

[Deadweight]

Because we're a pain in the arse. Only people with patience of saints can but up with it for long. Up and down, I love you I hate you, the anger and then the guilt. Over and over. I can look at my past behaviours, and even though they were driven by trauma, they're still my actions that I have to own, and I'm not surprised to find myself alone now.

 

[canna2]

I got diagnosed with the one called unspecified personality disorder..

This one really makes me want to ctb right now

You're absolutely right. It's tiring seeing it all the time

But we lack empathy and we are narcissistic so I can understand people's hate. Doesn't matter if we were traumatized at a young age , what matters is this state

 

[PDAnnie2610]

The main reason why I struggle to find light in my studies, and to find hope in work. I despise the way people with PDs are treated. And yet I hate the way we accidentally hurt people around us.

I struggle to understand why me having BPD meant that my anxiety and feelings of depression are less than those without PDs when I do struggle with sleep, crying and anhedonia too.

It became my fault for being bullied, molested as a kid and therefore needing more psych care. Tis a joke.

 

[FuneralCry]

Some people should learn to be more compassionate instead of being so hateful. People are already suffering enough without others making it worse.

 

[stellabelle]

Some people should learn to be more compassionate instead of being so hateful. People are already suffering enough without others making it worse.

Some people are and others aren't. People don't stop when they're told to stop. Then you have an entire group of us wishing we were dead. For the same reason that we are all so sick of the little "game" people play. Insulting us, ignoring us, our intelligence, our "talents" or "life skills" and telling us how well never make it. Yeah. "Survival of the fittest." This entire fucking garbage existence.

 

[liberty_222]

The main reason why I struggle to find light in my studies, and to find hope in work. I despise the way people with PDs are treated. And yet I hate the way we accidentally hurt people around us.

I struggle to understand why me having BPD meant that my anxiety and feelings of depression are less than those without PDs when I do struggle with sleep, crying and anhedonia too.

It became my fault for being bullied, molested as a kid and therefore needing more psych care. Tis a joke.

Hey man i feel you. Bpd is the worst we literally get blamed for everything and have no one. It's fucking lonely.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Hey man i feel you. Bpd is the worst we literally get blamed for everything and have no one. It's fucking lonely.

I learnt to be friends with my plushies and my dark thoughts. They drove us to it. I guess ctb is the end of it. There's simply no other way - light at the end of the tunnel is not meant for those of us with this.

 

[Insomniac]

People with personality disorders are demonized very harshly, and I'm sick of seeing articles and websites making it seem like we are evil and a lost cause. Everyone seems to forget that we with PDs have said PDs because of abuse. I did not choose to have BPD and NPD. It doesn't make me inherently abusive.

FUCK so called self proclaimed empaths. I hate you.

You know what's even more interesting? The fact that PSYCHIATRISTS and PSYCHOLOGISTS are at the origin of this demonisation.

They are out there everywhere on the internet fueling that hate and ignorance while profiting off of people mental distress in the worse way.

 

[liberty_222]

I learnt to be friends with my plushies and my dark thoughts. They drove us to it. I guess ctb is the end of it. There's simply no other way - light at the end of the tunnel is not meant for those of us with this.

I actually agree. We'll never have anyone. We'll just hurt others unintentionally and get further demonised. Suicide is the only way out

 

[PDAnnie2610]

I'm going soon. Hopefully within 2 weeks once I tidy up my affairs. I tried very hard, probably too hard. I've a good qualification, but I barely function and it's hard when I feel so isolated from everyone.

I really wish all of us need not suffer, or that theres someone who can guide some of us afflicted with this out of this pit hole. I used to have one and for awhile, there was hope of getting better. But ultimately, it's time to face up that no matter how hard I try, BPD wins, and I lose.

 

[liberty_222]

I'm going soon. Hopefully within 2 weeks once I tidy up my affairs. I tried very hard, probably too hard. I've a good qualification, but I barely function and it's hard when I feel so isolated from everyone.

I really wish all of us need not suffer, or that theres someone who can guide some of us afflicted with this out of this pit hole. I used to have one and for awhile, there was hope of getting better. But ultimately, it's time to face up that no matter how hard I try, BPD wins, and I lose.

I don't think we can win. We might have periods of stability but we're never gonna get better.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

You know what's even more interesting? The fact that PSYCHIATRISTS and PSYCHOLOGISTS are at the origin of this demonisation.

They are out there everywhere on the internet fueling that hate and ignorance while profiting off of people mental distress in the worse way.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I wish it need not be like that but I'm so sorry.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

Is there any account of good encounters with the mental health team or is it very hopeless? Mine went downhill after I turned 21. Prior to that, it was helpful.

 

[WanderOn]

Is there any account of good encounters with the mental health team or is it very hopeless? Mine went downhill after I turned 21. Prior to that, it was helpful.

Dr daniel fox on youtube. If youve got any more fight left in you this guys got some great info

 

[tiredandconfused]

I find your comments really hurtful. Yes I agree that not everyone with PD has had abuse but those that have have been double traumatised. I didn't choose my family or what they did. Yes I should have stopped the 7 year domestic violence a lot earlier. But I was groomed. He met me when I was housed by the ymca and he was volunteering. But to start to come to terms with mental illness diagnosis has hit me hard. Really hard. Sorry but your words hurt

 

[noaccount]

People with personality disorders are demonized very harshly, and I'm sick of seeing articles and websites making it seem like we are evil and a lost cause. Everyone seems to forget that we with PDs have said PDs because of abuse. I did not choose to have BPD and NPD. It doesn't make me inherently abusive.

FUCK so called self proclaimed empaths. I hate you.

Well, I really would take it a step further and say - it is demonizing to call someone's personality "disordered" in the first place.
Who decides who a person should be? Who decides what an "ordered" personality is? Doctors diagnose people with these vague umbrella-terms based on their (the doctors') own moods, whims, subjective biases.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

I find your comments really hurtful. Yes I agree that not everyone with PD has had abuse but those that have have been double traumatised. I didn't choose my family or what they did. Yes I should have stopped the 7 year domestic violence a lot earlier. But I was groomed. He met me when I was housed by the ymca and he was volunteering. But to start to come to terms with mental illness diagnosis has hit me hard. Really hard. Sorry but your words hurt

I know that they hurt but that is not the intention. The intention is for you to understand why a PD person claiming to have been abused doesn't really mean that much for anyone who has any experience or understanding of these disorders. Many of you people simply have tremendous problems of seeing and/or accepting the reality as it is for everyone else.

 

[PDAnnie2610]

There is no demonizing.

1) You possibly having been abused does not justify your constant abusive behaviour one bit. Almost every HPD/NPD/BPD i have ever met has pretty much been an abusive piece of shit from the get go. ASPD goes without saying.

2) I know for a fact that there are people on the cluster B spectrum who were never abused, but still claim to have been. I have a sibling like just like this. I'm not sure if they really know even themselves that they are lying, or if it's just that they can't face the reality, which essentially is that they have been born with a completely fucked up pair of brains that develops traumas from experiencing normal life situations.

In a nutshell, many of you don't get your PD because of abuse. With many of you it's mostly genetic. So i personally take every PD person's lamentations about their past abuse with a grain of salt.

Possibly abused? Wow! Thanks for the invalidation! I didn't know being molested at 9 years old is only possibly abused. I didn't know being told to go and die as a child is not traumatising.

 

[hans0solo]

our current mental health system ignores or minimizes trauma and some people get labeled with personality disorders. its also used for people who advocate for themselves. psychs can decide to label someone who they find 'difficult'. it would be useful to reaching attachment theory to better understand how people learn the behaviors they enact. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults
People can adopt these ways from being abused from family and from other close relationships. Unfortunatly, abusive patterns take a lot of work to change. Many people also consider this abuse from the patriachy because of the way it stigmtizing the mostly woman who get these as a result of male partner or family abuse.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

It's your choice to make a very generalized comment that I, a random internet stranger wrote, about you.

No, your comments are extremely insensitive, invalidating, presumptuous and do not belong in a thread specifically about the demonisation of PDs.

It is not only worrying that you think it's appropriate to assume that most people with PDs are abusive (and lying about their own history of abuse), but also that anyone would actually find such ill-informed and clearly biased conclusions as "informative."

This is why a lot of individuals with PDs and a history of abuse never speak out, because there is always someone with a negative experience of individuals with PDs waiting to rub salt in the wound and project their negative experiences on all PDs as a whole. I am sorry for any negative experiences you have had with people with PDs. However, individuals with personality disorders are not a monolith.

This forum is supposed to be a safe place for everyone. That includes members with various mental illnesses, including those that are stigmatised such as PDs.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

No, your comments are extremely insensitive, invalidating, presumptuous and do not belong in a thread specifically about the demonisation of PDs.

What demonisation? Can you or someone be a little more specific? Is being called out for your abusive behaviour demonisation?

It is not only worrying that you think it's appropriate to assume that most people with PDs are abusive, but also that anyone would actually find such ill-informed and clearly biased conclusions as "informative."

If you read my post again i was specifically talking about people with cluster B PD's, not people with PD's. My post came from my personal experiences about those people, and i have known a quite a bit of them.

Also i don't think it's that part they found informative, but the concept of many cluster B people having a mind that experiences normal life events as traumatic. This is not brought up nearly enough.

This is why a lot of individuals with PDs and a history of abuse never speak out, because there is always someone with a negative experience of individuals with PDs waiting to rub salt in the wound.

My post wasn't about rubbing salt to the wound though. It was about facts. If the shoe fits then wear it. If not, there is no reason to be offended.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

What demonisation? Can you or someone be a little more specific? Is being called out for your abusive behaviour demonisation?

If you read my post again i was specifically talking about people with cluster B PD's, not people with PD's. My post came from my personal experiences about those people, and i have known a quite a bit of them.

Also i don't think it's that part they found informative, but the concept of many cluster B people having a mind that experiences normal life events as traumatic. This is not brought up nearly enough.

My post wasn't about rubbing salt to the wound or my negative experiences though. It was about facts. If the shoe fits then wear it. If not, there is no reason to be offended.

The problem here is again, you are assuming we all engage in "abusive" behaviour. Which is not universally true at all. I lash out at myself, not at loved ones. Most people only know I have BPD if I specifically inform them, which I often do not anymore due to ignorance and fear of being immediately stereotyped. I have also been diagnosed with Complex PTSD, not due to "normal life situations."

Your lived experience and opinions are not "facts" that can be applied to all those with these diagnoses - your remarks are sweeping generalisations. Try actual research, which has found that cluster B personality disorders - especially BPD - has the strongest link with a history of abuse.

Given your experiences, I can understand being wary of others with the same diagnosis if you have been harmed and as I said, I'm sorry that happened to you. However, it doesn't make your comments okay, particularly on a thread of this nature.

The type of demonisation is precisely the automatic assumption that we are all abusive and harmful, that we all lie about our pasts and manipulate others. This is often based on either stigma or negative personal experiences, which are not representative of all of us and should not be treated as such.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

The problem here is again, you are assuming we all engage in "abusive" behaviour. Which is not universally true at all. I lash out at myself, not at loved ones. Most people only know I have BPD if I specifically inform them, which I often do not anymore due to ignorance. I have also been diagnosed with Complex PTSD, not due to "normal life situations."

Your lived experience and opinions are not "facts." Try actual research, which has found that cluster B personality disorders - especially BPD - has the strongest link with a history of abuse.

The type of demonisation is precisely the automatic assumption that we are all abusive and harmful, that we all lie about our pasts and manipulate others. This is often based on either stigma or negative personal experiences, which are not representative of all of us and should not be treated as such.

Yes, and i wasn't talking about all of you being abusive liars, i was talking about many of you being that way, and that is not demonisation, that is an extremely unfortunate fact. That a person can sink so low as to lie about being abused, taking credibility and voice away from all of those who are/have been really abused, it's really mind bogglingly lowly. And yet it happens, all the time.

I have personally witnessed this pattern from time to time, many of you are mentally very, very sick, with little hope of getting any better and an imagined story about getting abused can be for some of you like a life vest for the drowning. The fact that i have first hand witnessed some of you people acting like this has taken something very valuable away from me. Many of you have been abused for real and i can't feel anything for you because i can't trust anything you write/say because of the ones who lie. And that saddens me to no end.

But I still have to state it, and have the right to do so, whenever the topic is being discussed. Take it with a grain of salt.

 

[idiotstillwantstodie]

I'm sorry. It's actually very saddening to read that your negative experiences with individuals with cluster B personality disorders has tainted your view of the rest of us and resulted in lacking compassion for those who have been abused. That's just very sad, although it sounds as though you have been traumatised yourself by those who have hurt you. I'm sorry you went through that.

In the end, it was inevitable.

[Removed]

That's true, but i think that the most extreme examples of human evil in individuals are almost always on the cluster B spectrum.

 

[liberty_222]

I know that they hurt but that is not the intention. The intention is for you to understand why a PD person claiming to have been abused doesn't really mean that much for anyone who has any experience or understanding of these disorders. Many of you people simply have tremendous problems of seeing and/or accepting the reality as it is for everyone else.

Blah blah blah blah have you studied psychology? You're an expert? Have personality disorders? No? None of it?
Why are you even talking this is so embarassing. Imagine having 0 knowledge about something and speaking over people with the disorder.

 

[little helpers]

People with personality disorders are demonized very harshly, and I'm sick of seeing articles and websites making it seem like we are evil and a lost cause. Everyone seems to forget that we with PDs have said PDs because of abuse. I did not choose to have BPD and NPD. It doesn't make me inherently abusive.

FUCK so called self proclaimed empaths. I hate you.

empathy does fucking nothing. that's my word. cuz when you think about it, "empathy" is a "momentary lapse of emotional connection that is not to be consolidated by evidence (ie. whether the other person *confirmed* about the "connection" through decipherable signs and/or language)". if human lives can run on momentary, un-comfirmed, illusions of connection, we might as well be motherfucking crickets.

not to mention that "empathy" has really just become the PC-autocorrect word for "sympathy".

many of the PD traits can be adaptive to one's environment growing up. some other people develop PD without a clear, attributable context or factor. still, unconditional love makes people act ethically and feel supported.

and the medical system does the exact opposite of that. a prime example of betrayal trauma.

so, I feel ya.