I just wanted to say thank you for this forum, and for the people who've responded to my comments with understanding.
It's been a big help in processing my thoughts. Just being able to say these things and get them out of my head and off my chest before I burst, and getting me to a state of peace and acceptance. As a result, I've let go of a lot of the anger I was carrying, which might have led me to do something prematurely, out of impulse and desperation. That is how my father went out, and the reasons for that, which I only learned later in life, are what drove me to this forum. I've already outlived him by more than half his age when he CTB. I always vowed to not follow in his footsteps, but it's soon inevitable. But at least I lived my life, and did what I could, while experiencing some good along the way, along with the bad. So while there still is some anger, it's mostly just sadness, now, and peace, as well, and comfort in knowing that I will go out both more peacefully, and without the harm to others that he did in the process.
While I have my troubles, while not discounting them, I know others have it a lot worse. I haven't commented so much in support of others, because I really don't know how, (especially after burning myself out trying to take care of others in my family who didn't appreciate it and betrayed that good will.) And I've been wrapped up in my own unexpected issues of late, on top of everything else.
But please know that I feel for those of you suffering here, especially those through no fault of there own. So that said, I hope you all find the same peace, in whatever you choose. And again, thank you.
It's been a big help in processing my thoughts. Just being able to say these things and get them out of my head and off my chest before I burst, and getting me to a state of peace and acceptance. As a result, I've let go of a lot of the anger I was carrying, which might have led me to do something prematurely, out of impulse and desperation. That is how my father went out, and the reasons for that, which I only learned later in life, are what drove me to this forum. I've already outlived him by more than half his age when he CTB. I always vowed to not follow in his footsteps, but it's soon inevitable. But at least I lived my life, and did what I could, while experiencing some good along the way, along with the bad. So while there still is some anger, it's mostly just sadness, now, and peace, as well, and comfort in knowing that I will go out both more peacefully, and without the harm to others that he did in the process.
While I have my troubles, while not discounting them, I know others have it a lot worse. I haven't commented so much in support of others, because I really don't know how, (especially after burning myself out trying to take care of others in my family who didn't appreciate it and betrayed that good will.) And I've been wrapped up in my own unexpected issues of late, on top of everything else.
But please know that I feel for those of you suffering here, especially those through no fault of there own. So that said, I hope you all find the same peace, in whatever you choose. And again, thank you.
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