teenage angst has paid off well, now im bored and old....

[h0wd1rtygrlzST4YCL3N]

As title sugguests.....i am greatful for this page. it leaves a place online for people to be anonymous about their true thoughts. that are perfectly normal. perfectly human. perfectly natural. and even exist in the animal kingdom.....not to quote something i heard that was all like suicidal people are pre-programed....its almost like being gay. all i know is ive had STRONG thoughts since i was about 13......just turned 36...and i still feel meh about life...and im starting to think if i had peace....and a will...and knew what was going to happen after....and had my ehhh..."bus tickets lined up" ...so to speak. would i feel better? Some days i feel there is completely no sense of "lust" or "zeal" for life....some days i can't leave my bed....other days i fucking love mosh pits and don't know what to do with all this extra teen angst....im am musician. meh i just wanted to let my feelings off my chest.......i donno if im addicted to suicidal thoughts or just fucking over it. i know i am going to make my mind up in the next 3 years....and suicide is looking good....

 

[Snake of Eden]

36 here and always wanted to be dead as long as I remember. Life has nothing to offer me. I am staying alive just because. Will catch the bus soon enough hopefully. I suffered enough

 

[FuneralCry]

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I hope to be gone before I reach your age. Life is just so pointless. I am tired of existing. In a miserable life suicidal thoughts are perfectly rational, suicide is the only thing that makes sense for me.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I've always known there was something *wrong* with life, my thoughts have been confirmed when I found the antinatalism philosophy in 2018. I never liked this life and nothing will change my mind about the stance on it. I developed suicidal thoughts at the age of 11, nine years later I'm still suicidal, ''but it gets better!'' say the normie toxic optimistic redditors who don't even bother understand what's outside of their bubble full of sunshine and rainbows.

 

[Smart No More]

Anyone picked up on the Nirvana quote?
Serve the servants

 

[h0wd1rtygrlzST4YCL3N]

Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I hope to be gone before I reach your age. Life is just so pointless. I am tired of existing. In a miserable life suicidal thoughts are perfectly rational, suicide is the only thing that makes sense for me.

thats what i say to a lot of my friends in their 40's and 50's heh....not to be all nihilistic but damn you can sit around depressed doing nothing for a long time!!! i was reckless as a teen/young adult. i wasn't sure if it was for attention or if i didn't care if i ended up dead in a dumpster some where. I'm kinda low key about it these days...not dead.....on the brink of developing a nice and healthy drug habit...i know i wanna figure this out in the next 2 years.

 

[Bleak]

Anyone picked up on the Nirvana quote?
Serve the servants

I always heard it as "teenage sex has paid off well".

 

[h0wd1rtygrlzST4YCL3N]

Anyone picked up on the Nirvana quote?
Serve the servants

lol i love nirvana.....but not in the typical way most of their fans do.....there are other fans like me out there. most of them have poor kurt rolling in his grave!! i just always found them relatable. i rememered them in kindergarden.....he died shortly after i was put in foster care. i guess i always felt empathetic towards people who feel they need to go. It wasn't till later in life i felt my own suicidal thoughts....but they are there and they are valid. oh....and did you get the hole reference in my name? (how dirty girls stay clean) hahaha....i COMPLETELY live with the consternation that i might not ever want to get clean.....things can get worse.....(they aren't that bad im being a baby). I was clean for 12 years, i did try.....i just don't know any more some days....or if i care. some people only get clean by dying...part of me doesn't want to be in that category but another part isn't changing. It bothers me when a friend od's at the same time im all like lucky bastard! coming here to talk about things i cant is better i think.