Talking to Family/Medical Professional

[tidalwxves]

It's so frustrating trying to express what's going on to family and to try and prepare them for what's to come. I am grateful that they love me enough to want to see me healed, I see that as genuine love they have for me. I don't want it to sound like I don't appreciate that. With that being said, I've tried everything. This is a last resort. I've sought care, I've taken care of myself genuinely to best of my ability. Life still just isn't worth it to me. That's not changing. I do think people need to exhaust their options first, I don't think this a decision to be taken lightly. A positive shift in perspective, better self care, medical attention from a competent professional can radically change a persons life. But I've tried that, I still don't have peace. I still don't have joy. Life still isn't worth living. These are my circumstances. The same way I encourage others to make sure they try these things mentioned above is because they are people whose lives can be saved by them. My life isn't one of them, that's ok. I'm ok with that. I've stopped trying to understand why therapy doesn't help or why achieving my goals is something that leaves me feeling empty. I guess I think its frustrating because even though I recognize the real love that comes from these people ultimately the same way I recognize their circumstances are different than mine I wish they would understand that I'm not going to get better. It's sweet that they don't want to give up on me, but it doesn't actually make me function any better. I wish they would just stop pretending they can fix me if I can't even fix me.

 

[I.P.N]

It's so frustrating trying to express what's going on to family and to try and prepare them for what's to come. I am grateful that they love me enough to want to see me healed, I see that as genuine love they have for me. I don't want it to sound like I don't appreciate that. With that being said, I've tried everything. This is a last resort. I've sought care, I've taken care of myself genuinely to best of my ability. Life still just isn't worth it to me. That's not changing. I do think people need to exhaust their options first, I don't think this a decision to be taken lightly. A positive shift in perspective, better self care, medical attention from a competent professional can radically change a persons life. But I've tried that, I still don't have peace. I still don't have joy. Life still isn't worth living. These are my circumstances. The same way I encourage others to make sure they try these things mentioned above is because they are people whose lives can be saved by them. My life isn't one of them, that's ok. I'm ok with that. I've stopped trying to understand why therapy doesn't help or why achieving my goals is something that leaves me feeling empty. I guess I think its frustrating because even though I recognize the real love that comes from these people ultimately the same way I recognize their circumstances are different than mine I wish they would understand that I'm not going to get better. It's sweet that they don't want to give up on me, but it doesn't actually make me function any better. I wish they would just stop pretending they can fix me if I can't even fix me.

I feel you. I feel you so hard, you just described me. I'm so grateful for SS, to meet ppl like me, to know that I'm not alone and there are ppl who know exactly how I feel. Thanks for sharing this, I needed to read it. I try to explain that to my friends and it's so hard to put into words, I think I'll just show them this. I have a bard time trying to express myself when it comes to suicide, especially with pro-lifers. I haven't told my parents about it though. I don't think they would understand.