Suspected BPD. How to get help?

[dexdbxtchthewxtch]

I have been unable to have any sort of mental care for a long time due to health insurance and a lack of call backs from the only available place during my time in Florida.
I have since returned home to PA and since I am a new resident all over again so restarting the process and not sure where to start or seek help.

I have suspected I have BPD for many years. It is present in a lot of my family as well as a history of Bipolar 1. I believe the only difference in that my mood swings are minute by minute and intense, and if not intense emotions, I'm just completely numb. Out of the 9 criteria, I fit 8. My younger brother committed suicide in July 2024 at 23 and I believe he was also borderline based on everything we've gone through on his phone and stories from his friends.

Where do I start? Who do I talk to? I am at the lowest point in my life but have no health insurance for the moment.
The ideation is active. I want to die, but I have 3 children to think about. My mother, who already lost 1 child to suicide 6 months ago. My husband, who is just as lost and helpless as I am. I have to try something. I have to be able to say I tried.

I am hoping it is NOT BPD and is something potentially more manageable but I am being realistic. I just want this to stop. No one else acts like this. Normal people don't wanna die over the stupidest shit. I was diagnosed previously many moons ago with MDD and GAD.

 

[tiredtired]

maybe pick something like this up "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook :Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance"

could pirate it from z library

 

[Dot]

I have been unable to have any sort of mental care for a long time due to health insurance and a lack of call backs from the only available place during my time in Florida.
I have since returned home to PA and since I am a new resident all over again so restarting the process and not sure where to start or seek help.

I have suspected I have BPD for many years. It is present in a lot of my family as well as a history of Bipolar 1. I believe the only difference in that my mood swings are minute by minute and intense, and if not intense emotions, I'm just completely numb. Out of the 9 criteria, I fit 8. My younger brother committed suicide in July 2024 at 23 and I believe he was also borderline based on everything we've gone through on his phone and stories from his friends.

Where do I start? Who do I talk to? I am at the lowest point in my life but have no health insurance for the moment.
The ideation is active. I want to die, but I have 3 children to think about. My mother, who already lost 1 child to suicide 6 months ago. My husband, who is just as lost and helpless as I am. I have to try something. I have to be able to say I tried.

I am hoping it is NOT BPD and is something potentially more manageable but I am being realistic. I just want this to stop. No one else acts like this. Normal people don't wanna die over the stupidest shit. I was diagnosed previously many moons ago with MDD and GAD.

1st plce wld usully b bookng in wth GP/famly doctr & askng fr refrrl t/ psychtrst

Untl u hve tht spport thre r sme rsourcs in recvry sectn & also sme lnks t/ onlne mentl helth spport grps

'Crisis' Resources for anxiety attacks and emotional overwhelm

Written by @Dot, I am just being the voice so more people can understand it. Okay, so you are having an anxiety episode. It is worth remembering when suffering anxiety attack, that you are safe, despite your body throwing out symptoms and telling you otherwise. We have compiled a list of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Thre r also sme DBT rsourcs in thred b-low

Mental health worksheets, booklets & digital resources megathread

@Dot and I are working to bring you some worksheets and similar resources to support working on/with your mental health. Please note that this information does not replace professional help, so use this at your discretion. Seeking a licensed mental health specialist is recommended, however this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Online Support and Recovery Meeting Groups

Many people who cannot access or afford standard therapy might find some help in video meetings and classes with online support groups and organisations. This information is not designed to be a replacement for professional therapy but for many will also be much better than nothng. Some of...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[ebg]

Hi, personally I recommend starting with antidepressants. I find that Zoloft helped a lot with regulating my mood. I am currently taking 200mg. I find it stifles the intensity of one's emotions, so a side effect that some people don't like is that it can "zombify" you. However, I choose stability at the expense of feeling sometimes "flat" instead of emotional dysregulation. Another thing is trying to find something that forces you to go out/work towards something to give you a sense of control/accomplishment. I find that therapy did not help me much, as I do not usually think about the tips provided by my therapist after the session. Having someone to talk to, someone like a close friend or a partner is also helpful, it helps with providing you with a sense of identity as well as stability.

 

[Dot]

back from the borderline | A thoughtful, well-researched podcast with a human view of BPD

Years ago, through a very close and formative relationship, I became acquainted with Borderline Personality Disorder, the struggles of people with these symptoms, and even how badly modern psychiatry can fail those who deal with it. In a way, this relationship started my interest in mental...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[lilurki]

maybe pick something like this up "The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook :Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, and Distress Tolerance"

could pirate it from z library

I second this, DBT is great for BPD and was actually made specifically to treat it.