Why is it so hard to kill yourself. I don't troll this place, i have been admitted to psychiatric hospitals twice and attempted suicide twice in recent years. I get a lot out of this forum. i am out and have monthly contact with social services. Every day i think about killing myself and know exactly how i would go about it. Life has lost all meaning, I have a mother who would never get over my suicide, no matter how hard i try to make it look like an accident. But mainly i'm prevaricating and lacking in courage, because LIFE is stopping me, in other words survival instinct.
How shitty does it have to get, i feel like there is a big lorry coming that's about to crush me and i'm waiting for it without much control. Denial of reality is necessary for every human to get from day to day, we know we are going to die and we usually obviate it by various means. When you see through the mechanisms that are ordinarily used to keep it at bay..reasons to die exceed the reasons to live. And yet we don't do it and keep exchanging messages in some kind of limbo. 'Life is death seen through a prism'.
How shitty does it have to get, i feel like there is a big lorry coming that's about to crush me and i'm waiting for it without much control. Denial of reality is necessary for every human to get from day to day, we know we are going to die and we usually obviate it by various means. When you see through the mechanisms that are ordinarily used to keep it at bay..reasons to die exceed the reasons to live. And yet we don't do it and keep exchanging messages in some kind of limbo. 'Life is death seen through a prism'.
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