surrounded

[Life_and_Death]

ive surrounded myself with suicidal people....i wonder if thats part of my problem. having dissociation i dont know what normal feels like. i forgot what it feels like to be one with the world. instead im in my own world. between that and only talking to suicidal people for a few years now how could i possible know what normal is if i surrounded myself with depression. but i do it because they understand. i dont have to explain. i just say im having a bad day and its all "oh i get it hugs" but talking to the ones that dont know, its like "whats wrong" "whats caused it" i understand they are just trying to help but sometimes its just nice to....idk, not have to explain it i guess. maybe i should take a break for a couple days though at least. idk. well, my husband plans on taking me out this weekend, maybe that would be a good time to do it. then ill be distracted.

(btw i dont mean any of it in a bad way, just that if you surround yourself with something it probably isnt helping you to get rid of it. like if your addicted to heavy drugs (or anything really) you probably shouldnt be hanging out around them because youll be enticed to do it)

 

[so tired or manic]

I hope it's a wonderful weekend. I also hope the progress comes that you're looking for. you deserve it.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I get this entirely. I often think that maybe I should surround myself with healthy people; it can be sad being in groups where everyone is depressed and I am constantly losing friends to suicide. As much as I'd like to change, I don't fit in with normal people well so it is hard.

I think a break can be good, and I hope if you take one it helps your mental state a little.

 

[Lostandlooking]

Good idea to take a break, exactly because of the reasons you stated.

I'm new to this forum so it's all new to me and I feel it's actually refreshing to see that there are people who feel the same and understand. Most people don't really understand being suicidal or depressed so it's tiring having to explain things to them. I keep trying and I often feel very anxious around people because of this reason. It rarely gets me anywhere.

The things you said make sense however. I can see how too much time on the forum could keep me stuck in a suicidal state. I hope you can find a way to get in touch with normal and the outside world a bit more.