Venting suicide thoughts are strong today

[GirlN]

Hi!
The last months I sort of think I have been getting somewhat better. I think this is also because I've started on medications for depression.
The suicide thoughts are like coming and going, but right now I feel it a lot.

Today is my first day of vacation after starting in a job with home office.
The whole day I`ve been feeling so restless.
I`ve tried to contact a friend to see if she wanted to meet up but she was gonna travel home.
I`ve tried to get in touch with some others but one of them doesn`t even answer the phone.

So right now I'm sitting at home alone and I am just so bored.
I don`t mind sitting at home alone usually, but it's just that today I really wanted to do something.
I sat wondering, would anyone really care if I just dissapeared.
I have SN in the cabinet I have the biggest urge to just take it and end it.

Anyone got any tips on what I should do to not feel this way?

 

[hʚll]

i'm bad at giving advice about that because i too feel that way and i usually choose to take some meds for anxiety to calm me down... i hope someone else can help you better

 

[logan]

In any case, I would go out - take a little walk. Maybe your friend will get in touch or you'll meet someone to talk to.

 

[Polly1]

I find home alone really hard too. When I was working 100% from home I felt like I was alone in a space capsule hurtling through space. It is really tough so don't beat yourself up about it

if it is safe where you are, go outside and walk and talk to everyone about anything. Don't be afraid of looking foolish. Everyone is facing these e thing and will be glad of any conversation at all

 

[motel rooms]

go outside and walk and talk to everyone about anything. Don't be afraid of looking foolish. Everyone is facing these e thing and will be glad of any conversation at all

Wow, you must live among angels

 

[GirlN]

Thank you guys <3 Luckily one of my friends said we could meet up, we are most likely not doing anything, just eating or something but I think it will help a lot.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can be really exhausting, I find it hard to escape from my thoughts of suicide too. Sleeping is what helps me and it is what I look forward too. I hope you feel better now.