Venting Suicide is not, nor will it ever be, the "easy way" out

[scary]

I honestly don't understand how some normies even come to this conclusion honestly. Obviously people on here understand that this is a very demeaning and frankly disgusting thing to say to or about someone, whether they've succeeded or not. I've made a post about a year ago about the whole "if you were really suicidal you would've done it already" shpeal and my point still stands. Most people have a survival instinct that prevents them from doing it, so... why do they even think that way? how is it the supposed "easy way" out?

I described suicide in my old post as "scary, messy, and exhausting" and to this day I still think that to an extent. Not everyone has access to relatively pain-free methods. If you hypothetically told one of these people to try any of the various methods they'd back out in a heartbeat and would say that it's hard and mentally daunting. For a lot of people, suicide is planned for various reasons. Most people don't just have access to a shotgun where they can just blow their brains out without a second thought. It's so much more complicated than that. People who commit don't want to fail, or worse end up hurt or crippled because of a failed attempt. A lot of people also have guilt about how their loved ones would react. Nothing about suicide is easy.

"It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem" okay? who the hell wouldn't want a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Also, you don't know what people are going through. What if they felt that way at a very young age and it's slowly eating away at them over time? Different things are right for different people, and if that includes a person ending their life, then they should be allowed to in a safe and effective way.

I know that at the end of the day, it's just anti choice mantra. Suicide is a very uncomfortable topic for a lot of people, and I understand that. People don't want the ones they care about to just end it, but why would you guilt them by saying their struggles are "easy"? Taking your own life itself is a struggle and probably one of the biggest struggles someone could go through. I just don't get it man.

Spoiler: My current CTB plan

Putting this in a spoiler box so the people who don't care to read this part can easily skip if they'd like, but I've currently been trying to come up with a CTB plan. I'm one of those people who just doesn't have access to any method really other than OD'ing which everyone and their mother on here says is a bad idea, which I agree and understand. Problem is like I said it's all I really have. I had a plan to sit in my family's car while it was running at night, but the risk factor of me getting caught is way too high plus the fact that they don't make cars like they used to. It would've honestly been my ideal method but it's just too risky for me and not worth it in the end. I honestly don't know what to do. I wish I had my own car and knew how to drive, I would've been gone already if I did. If anyone has any idea of what I should do I'd greatly appreciate it.

 

[usernamegoeshere]

THIS IS SOMETHING I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SO MUCH TOO. or when people say that people were cowards for actually going through with it. i wish i could be as brave as them, and i honestly look up to people who did it because of how fucking hard it is. i truly wish i was strong enough to go through with it. victim blaming suicide is such a disgusting and honestly downright evil thing that is way too normalized. and it's those same people who will be like "omg why didnt you tell us!" or like "suicide awareness!! spread kindness" it's just bullshit

 

[Porcelaindreamer]

I think that in order to live to the fullest you must be brave in order to die you must be brave. I think staying in between is being a coward.

 

[kopebaldy]

The normals are very ignorant of suicidal thoughts and suicide methods.

I wish we could somehow communicate this to them but their brains aren't wired in a way that would be able to conceptualize and sympathize with these feelings.

Talking to them is useless, and I've given up on that a long time ago. They live their lives, we try to end ours. Let's not fuck with each other's plans.

 

[whywere]

I am and have always been 100% pro-choice, let each and every soul figure it out for themselves, without ANY outside influence, no matter if it is ctb, abortion, whatever.

For me, with 24/7 chronic pain, my CNS (central nervous system) is so messed up from a car crash, car crash NOT my fault, just wrong place at the wrong time.

with all of that said, if and when quantity of life outweighs quality of life, then decisions will be made.

One aspect, after 2 attempts, has taught me is this: always do my darndest to detach instant emotions and try as hard as possible to take a step back. As everyone knows, ctb is one and done, NEVER EVER any do overs.

Lots of hugs and kind and caring thoughts to EVERYONE here. We ARE the finest global family EVER!

Walter

 

[Jadeith]

"It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

There's a post by L'absent i absolutely adore:

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, stop everything! We are in the presence of the Einstein of motivational psychology, the Tesla of obviousness, the Mozart of cliché wisdom. A prodigy of human intellect who has just solved the entire existential dilemma with the same depth as a fortune cookie written by...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[chudeatte]

bro literally. I hate when people say this as if everyone is committing suicide over minor inconveniences. if it was easy, that would be the case. but committing is like a last resort for people who are desperate to escape. they'll never understand that its the final option for people who suffer and that deciding to end your own life is the hardest decision someone will ever make

 

[Forever Sleep]

I tend to think they haven't properly considered it for one. As in- truly thought about what it would feel like to jump off a bridge, swallow a chemical or point a gun at their own head- never really knowing for sure it will kill them cleanly or, even at all.

I think it's also a way of bigging themselves up- they're a fighter. They would never be so 'weak' as to quit the game and, they expect the same of others because in part I suppose, we can't actually see how badly a person's struggle is. We make assumptions- it can't be that bad and, the other chesnut- other people are making a better go of it with far worse circumstances than you.

I think they may also fail to really believe that some people have lost the very will to live and keep fighting. The argument that- Wouldn't we like life if we could get over our 'temporary' (also agree- ridiculous statement) problems? Isn't all together ludicrous but, it assumes we have the energy and fight in us to do that. It also assumes we believe that life will ultimately be worth it. We may not feel that.

They also have a different perception of the whole thing I think. That life is something you need to win at. So- it's important not to give up. Compare it to something else. A chess game. For a master to resign a game of chess would presumably upset them. For a child learning and utterly bored with it, it would be a relief. Our very perception of the value of life could well be different to them.

 

[swankysoup]

Imo everything i have ever done in life was easy compared to committing to dying and following through. Nothing else comes close.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand as it really isn't straightforward and I always suffer from how I cannot just have the option to peacefully cease existing to finally escape from this cruel, futile existence I never would had chosen that I always saw as a mistake, all I wish for is to be gone, more than anything I wish there's the option to never suffer ever again, it's so horrible to me how we exist in this anti-suicide world where the suffering and torture of existing is seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

 

[unluckysadness]

I am and have always been 100% pro-choice, let each and every soul figure it out for themselves, without ANY outside influence, no matter if it is ctb, abortion, whatever.

For me, with 24/7 chronic pain, my CNS (central nervous system) is so messed up from a car crash, car crash NOT my fault, just wrong place at the wrong time.

with all of that said, if and when quantity of life outweighs quality of life, then decisions will be made.

One aspect, after 2 attempts, has taught me is this: always do my darndest to detach instant emotions and try as hard as possible to take a step back. As everyone knows, ctb is one and done, NEVER EVER any do overs.

Lots of hugs and kind and caring thoughts to EVERYONE here. We ARE the finest global family EVER!

Walter

Thanks for your support Walter

 

[dogwolfybark]

As dumb as the statement is, sometimes, people don't even realize that sometimes it's a solution to a permanent problem.
Nobody ever seems to think about lifelong mental illnesses or even physical illnesses.
It's just like with depression and things related to it. There's just a lot of people who don't actually know what it's like
and think there's really basic solutions.
I also don't understand why people are so afraid of having the info to do all this properly.
If people are gonna do it anyways wouldn't you want them to at least do it in the right way?
you want people to fuck themselves up or suffer in massive pain while doing it?

 

[brokenspirited]

It's truly horrific that there isn't any peaceful and straightforward to cease existing when there's nothing I want more than to be gone and finally free from this disgusting, pointless unwanted existence.

 

[strawberry931]

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem

Sometimes the problem is permanent too.

 

[Wrath]

I vaguely remember this, details may be wrong. In freshman year of high school I chose a speech presentation topic about why the right to assisted suicide for terminally ill patients should be legalized. I don't know why I chose that. I spent days and days working on it. After all that work I just got a bunch of bad questions where no one even bothered trying to put themselves in the shoes of someone with a painful, terminal illness. They told me ANY 'death' was wrong. To my face told me that terminal suffering patients shouldn't even have the right to make the call, and should just suffer because it would hurt the family's feelings. After all that, all I got was a bad grade, and got on the teacher's shitlist. I never tried in school ever again. Then dropped out. It's sad that something like that made me end up here.

If normal people drive me out of school just for making a sensible argument, literally JUST for terminally ill getting the right to decide things for themselves, then they are truly the insane. They'd react the same way they always have. That's why I'm on this forum. Here people understand that personal choices matter.

The control freaks seem to get worse ever year. Is it social media? I don't know. I'm starting to see people saying "it's just natural selection bro!". Technically, but that just means that the world is prioritizing sociopathic behavior by default, and throwing anyone not willing to engage in that to the wayside. Decades and centuries later, all the good people will be gone. And this world will truly be hell, and no one will realize. What worth is it to run in a rat race if you lose everything that makes you, you?

Is this world even worth it as a whole? I don't know. But suicide is never easy. I think these normals are afraid of making ANY decisions at all. Then a decision involves death, so they recoil harder than ever. It think it's similar to people that get angry when you have an opinion about something "it's not that deep, bro it's a show it doesn't matter, bro it's a game it doesn't matter" Everything matters. I'm allowed to care about things like this. I thought that was worth mentioning because I think this ties into the reaction most people have to suicide.

 

[Hollowman]

I think that in order to live to the fullest you must be brave in order to die you must be brave. I think staying in between is being a coward.

I've been in between for a long time because I'm trying to wait out my mom. Does that make me a coward? I don't really care what you think, just saying.

 

[Porcelaindreamer]

I've been in between for a long time because I'm trying to wait out my mom. Does that make me a coward? I don't really care what you think, just saying.

I was more thinking about some extremes. Like becoming a homeless person living like that for years or an alcoholic living on a street. Something of that sort.

 

[scary]

I vaguely remember this, details may be wrong. In freshman year of high school I chose a speech presentation topic about why the right to assisted suicide for terminally ill patients should be legalized. I don't know why I chose that. I spent days and days working on it. After all that work I just got a bunch of bad questions where no one even bothered trying to put themselves in the shoes of someone with a painful, terminal illness. They told me ANY 'death' was wrong. To my face told me that terminal suffering patients shouldn't even have the right to make the call, and should just suffer because it would hurt the family's feelings. After all that, all I got was a bad grade, and got on the teacher's shitlist. I never tried in school ever again. Then dropped out. It's sad that something like that made me end up here.

If normal people drive me out of school just for making a sensible argument, literally JUST for terminally ill getting the right to decide things for themselves, then they are truly the insane. They'd react the same way they always have. That's why I'm on this forum. Here people understand that personal choices matter.

The control freaks seem to get worse ever year. Is it social media? I don't know. I'm starting to see people saying "it's just natural selection bro!". Technically, but that just means that the world is prioritizing sociopathic behavior by default, and throwing anyone not willing to engage in that to the wayside. Decades and centuries later, all the good people will be gone. And this world will truly be hell, and no one will realize. What worth is it to run in a rat race if you lose everything that makes you, you?

Is this world even worth it as a whole? I don't know. But suicide is never easy. I think these normals are afraid of making ANY decisions at all. Then a decision involves death, so they recoil harder than ever. It think it's similar to people that get angry when you have an opinion about something "it's not that deep, bro it's a show it doesn't matter, bro it's a game it doesn't matter" Everything matters. I'm allowed to care about things like this. I thought that was worth mentioning because I think this ties into the reaction most people have to suicide.

Extremely late reply, but if you still for some reason have that paper, I'd genuinely love to read it. I wish more papers on this topic were normalized and not immediately frowned upon because it supposedly "promotes" suicide. Also everyone dies eventually, it's weird that they'd think that it's wrong when it's literally just a part of life. People put down animals when they're in immense pain despite the pet's family being sad, why can't the same thing be applied to people? Why can't a singular person have their say in whether they live or die? I suspect it's mostly just the fact that countries require work to keep them running, but some people just can't work. It's also about family. Your mom spent 9 months making you and your family spent most of their lives raising you, but no one asked to be born. Some people don't even have good families. You don't have free will over your own goddamn life and that's just depressing.

THIS IS SOMETHING I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT SO MUCH TOO. or when people say that people were cowards for actually going through with it. i wish i could be as brave as them, and i honestly look up to people who did it because of how fucking hard it is. i truly wish i was strong enough to go through with it. victim blaming suicide is such a disgusting and honestly downright evil thing that is way too normalized. and it's those same people who will be like "omg why didnt you tell us!" or like "suicide awareness!! spread kindness" it's just bullshit

Suicide Awareness is such performative bullshit, I agree. Most people who parrot it are only doing it for reddit goodboy brownie points and would never actually help anyone who's struggling, In fact the same people who'd bully me for being autistic would preach stuff like that. Most people don't actually care and only say it to make themselves feel better or look good. People who succeed are brave and have gone through so much more than what people know.

 

[Wrath]

have that paper

I lost it when I changed schools, couldn't archive any of my old stuff.

 

[Aiyuxiao]

It takes a lot of courage to admit that you want to end your life. I don't think suicide is a coward's way out. Whoever said that never really tried to kill themselves imho lol.

They've never stood up at the top of a building, bridge, or cliff trying to fight SI just to jump. They never tried letting go with a noose around their neck. They never had a gun barrel in their mouth with their finger on the trigger, etc.

It honestly takes a lot of courage to try to kill yourself. Because you don't really know what would happen once you take that leap.

Extremely late reply, but if you still for some reason have that paper, I'd genuinely love to read it. I wish more papers on this topic were normalized and not immediately frowned upon because it supposedly "promotes" suicide. Also everyone dies eventually, it's weird that they'd think that it's wrong when it's literally just a part of life. People put down animals when they're in immense pain despite the pet's family being sad, why can't the same thing be applied to people? Why can't a singular person have their say in whether they live or die? I suspect it's mostly just the fact that countries require work to keep them running, but some people just can't work. It's also about family. Your mom spent 9 months making you and your family spent most of their lives raising you, but no one asked to be born. Some people don't even have good families. You don't have free will over your own goddamn life and that's just depressing.

Suicide Awareness is such performative bullshit, I agree. Most people who parrot it are only doing it for reddit goodboy brownie points and would never actually help anyone who's struggling, In fact the same people who'd bully me for being autistic would preach stuff like that. Most people don't actually care and only say it to make themselves feel better or look good. People who succeed are brave and have gone through so much more than what people know.

It's so stupid because the people who would say, "Just reach out to someone" or " you're not alone", in my experience are the same people who have told me to just hurry up and kill myself. Lol.

They just say empty platitudes of bullshit just to make themselves feel better and feed their hero complex lol

 

[MyShadow]

There's nothing easy about a sentient creature going against the very nature of existence. Survival is hardwired into us, and choosing to end that is extremely difficult.

Nobody is truly ready to end their lives. Just ask any one of the thousands of people who have spent hours, days or months preparing their method, only to have their basic survival instinct kick in at the last second.

As for me, despite knowing my situation and mental health are deteriorating, I still procrastinate and it's terrible knowing that even in my situation, even with months of planning and setup, I may still hesitate.

 

[Apathy79]

I suppose it depends on how you contextualise it. If you can commit suicide, or live until you're 90 come what may and die of cancer, which is the easier option? Isn't everyone here choosing it because it's easier than the alternative of continuing to live? Doesn't make it easy, but relatively.

I think it's dismissive and lacks any hint of empathy or compassion, but not incorrect. If my nerve pain gets so bad I can't handle it again, with no end in sight, I'll commit suicide because it's easier than living with the pain.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

There's a post by L'absent i absolutely adore:

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, stop everything! We are in the presence of the Einstein of motivational psychology, the Tesla of obviousness, the Mozart of cliché wisdom. A prodigy of human intellect who has just solved the entire existential dilemma with the same depth as a fortune cookie written by...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Really miss him.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Not the easy way for sure, rather the only way, or final resort. If someone has not been where we are mentally, they would not understand. As for OD, I don't have any knowledge about drugs myself, and can't recommend it from what I've seen on this forum. Wishing you all the best.

 

[nemesis_]

it's absolutely not the easy way out. i'd argue it's the hard way out.

my method's also kind of messy (partial using either a bedsheet, scarf, or belt since i can't just go and buy a rope, nor do i have a good anchor point in my apartment for said rope). i'm probably gonna pop a few benzos and wash them down with alcohol so my SI doesn't kick in. if this fails, i could be left with permanent brain damage…how the hell is that the easy way out?

 

[scary]

it's absolutely not the easy way out. i'd argue it's the hard way out.

my method's also kind of messy (partial using either a bedsheet, scarf, or belt since i can't just go and buy a rope, nor do i have a good anchor point in my apartment for said rope). i'm probably gonna pop a few benzos and wash them down with alcohol so my SI doesn't kick in. if this fails, i could be left with permanent brain damage…how the hell is that the easy way out?

If you do end up going through with that method, I wish you all the best. I too am unable to go out and just buy supplies cause I'd just arouse suspicion. Hanging is probably one of the last things I'd do cause my SI would just kick in. I have the perfect things in my room for it I think, there's a few clothing hooks near my bed but I could never (plus said hooks are just shaped kinda weird). If it's not guaranteed or instant for me I'd just freak out whilst doing it, especially with something active around my neck.

Not the easy way for sure, rather the only way, or final resort. If someone has not been where we are mentally, they would not understand. As for OD, I don't have any knowledge about drugs myself, and can't recommend it from what I've seen on this forum. Wishing you all the best.

Thanks for taking your time to reply anyway, I appreciate it. I say that it is my only 'method' to my disposal but I know OD'ing doesn't do anything except damage people, so it's not really a method to begin with. CO seems the most realistic to me personally. Just sitting back and letting it do its thing without any smells or smoke to set my SI off. I'm probably just gonna research that one more, or just find something similar.

 

[whywere]

I've been in between for a long time because I'm trying to wait out my mom. Does that make me a coward? I don't really care what you think, just saying.

You ARE a VERY strong person!

A person who thinks of others, like YOU do, in my viewpoint, are some of the strongest folks around.

You have such a kind, caring and loving soul in you, just wonderful!

Walter

 

[Hollowman]

You ARE a VERY strong person!

A person who thinks of others, like YOU do, in my viewpoint, are some of the strongest folks around.

You have such a kind, caring and loving soul in you, just wonderful!

Walter

Thanks but I don't feel strong. I feel like I've been holding onto the end of my rope for way too long and just need to wrap it around my neck.

 

[whywere]

Thanks but I don't feel strong. I feel like I've been holding onto the end of my rope for way too long and just need to wrap it around my neck.

Having had 2 attempts, I 1005 in my heart of hearts that YOU are strong.

Having been around back stabbers in business for about 50 years, taught me many things, one of which is that someone who thinks of others, is a VERY STRONG person, as they put others before themselves.

I can completely understand and feel how you feel, as I am the same way on days when my depression kicks into high gear. HOWEVER, I always want the best for folks and that in itself makes the depression less.

I never had a true mom or dad and to read where someone puts not only others, BUT their mom 1st is just so wonderful and makes that person a true winner, YOU!

Hope that you have a better day and I wish for you to have a sun filled weekend.

You ARE a good friend and family to me always.

Walter

 

[divinemistress36]

My mom says shit like this to
"If someone really wanted to die they would go get hit by a train or get a gun" like it's that easy..