Suicide because I don't like the way I look

[Canon1]

Hi there!

Right now I feel strongly suicidal. My problem is that I had an eye disease that made my eye structure look different than normally eyes and I feel very strange when people look into my eyes or talking with me. It looks like I had blue contacts without a real structure in but they are real this way. The problem is that I could do a surgery to make it look a little more natural but in the end this changed structure will remain. It makes me really sad and depressed and I can't stop thinking of it 24/7. Moreover I am every day anxious to go to work because people there talk with me. I can wear glasses to hide it a bit but that doesn't make me happy. I have sn and I am thinking of taking it in the next time because at this point life has become a real struggle for me. I am also very depressed and struggle with social anxiety. I know nobody can help me but I just wanted to say it. I feel like an outsider or alien. The strange thing is that people tell me all the time what beautiful eyes I have. I feel so wrong.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life can be so cruel to us, and the worst thing is that so many things can go wrong which are out of our control, literally so many things can go wrong with the human body. Whats worse is that our thoughts can constantly torture us. Whatever option you choose,I wish you the best.

 

[Canon1]

But I must say that my vision is not impaired and I can see 100% sharp and I don't lose my vision either. It's just an appearance issue. And on the top of it people tell me like wow nice eyes because they look so special. I don't know. Just wanna be normal.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I'm glad your vision is okay in spite of that.
Many of us, for different reasons, don't like ourselves and that's part of our ctb intentions too.

Whatever happens, I wish the best of luck!

Hugs and love,

Matt