Venting Suicidal thoughts have eased for now

[phoenixx]

For the first time in a long time I am not suicidal. I don't know what has happened or what has changed but I am currently not experiencing those thoughts. Of course, it is probably a good thing. I am not wanting to disappear or end things. I am not looking for a way out. Something has changed over the past week and like I said, I don't know what it is, but I am feeling a little more optimistic which is a very strange feeling since I've spent the last few years not knowing how long I'd be alive. I'm also finding that I don't want to hurt myself, I'm not getting the urges to self harm which is also a very strange for me. I know this isn't going to last though, I know that for sure. It never does. And I know that I will still eventually ctb, even if it's many many years into the future.

Suicidal or not, I still find myself coming to SS because I enjoy being apart of this community and talking to other people. So even though I don't feel bad right now, I'm still going to stay here because this is the one community that understands me (thats if it's okay to stay of course).

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be a strange feeling if you are so used to being suicidal. I know it certainly would for me if for some reason I was free of suicidal thoughts. I'm pleased for you that the thoughts have gone. I wish you the best.

 

[Death is beautiful]

I also dont feel suicidal thoughts lately, but like you, I know that this will not be for long

 

[phoenixx]

I can imagine it must be a strange feeling if you are so used to being suicidal. I know it certainly would for me if for some reason I was free of suicidal thoughts. I'm pleased for you that the thoughts have gone. I wish you the best.

Thank you! And yes, it's definitely strange. I'm like.. ok, what do I do now? I know that it probably won't last that long though but I'm going to "enjoy" it while it lasts.

 

[less than]

I am so glad for you. Hopefully your 'new' feeling will last longer and I wish you are able to enjoy your life. And if you have the urges to talk you are always welcome here, might be in the recovery section.

 

[phoenixx]

I am so glad for you. Hopefully your 'new' feeling will last longer and I wish you are able to enjoy your life. And if you have the urges to talk you are always welcome here, might be in the recovery section.

Thank you so much

 

[LivvenDe]

Thank you! And yes, it's definitely strange. I'm like.. ok, what do I do now? I know that it probably won't last that long though but I'm going to "enjoy" it while it lasts.

I hope it lasts your whole life ;) wishing u love, enjoy!

 

[phoenixx]

I hope it lasts your whole life ;) wishing u love, enjoy!

Thank you!!

 

[phoenixx]

Update: As I expected, it didn't last long :)

 

[PeacefulTonic]

How are you doing lately?

I wish mine can go away. I know that will never happen though. 1-2 weeks until it's time for me to go