Still high on N

[?SYNTAX ERROR]

I just woke up after taking N again and I can tell I'm messed up from it still, but I feel normal, like not bad feelings in my chest or head. Though, it makes me realize that when I'm not on N I will always feel in a terrible way with that black hole, burning feeling in my chest and chills from sadness. And when I think about things when I'm not on N they really really bother me and make me suicidal. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it soon, (take all of my N) When I'm high on N I can get out of bed early enough in the morning like normal people and carry conversations like normal people, but not when I'm not on N.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I just woke up after taking N again and I can tell I'm messed up from it still, but I feel normal, like not bad feelings in my chest or head. Though, it makes me realize that when I'm not on N I will always feel in a terrible way with that black hole, burning feeling in my chest and chills from sadness. And when I think about things when I'm not on N they really really bother me and make me suicidal. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it soon, (take all of my N) When I'm high on N I can get out of bed early enough in the morning like normal people and carry conversations like normal people, but not when I'm not on N.

So … you are using N not to die ???
You can afford to do that ???
How is the taste ????
It doesn't make you vomit ??? Do you use Metos ???
Also … I thought N was supposed to make people drowsy but it makes you feel normal ???

 

[dandan]

I just woke up after taking N again and I can tell I'm messed up from it still, but I feel normal, like not bad feelings in my chest or head. Though, it makes me realize that when I'm not on N I will always feel in a terrible way with that black hole, burning feeling in my chest and chills from sadness. And when I think about things when I'm not on N they really really bother me and make me suicidal. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it soon, (take all of my N) When I'm high on N I can get out of bed early enough in the morning like normal people and carry conversations like normal people, but not when I'm not on N.

I wish I was able to carry conversations like normal people.
damm...

 

[?SYNTAX ERROR]

So … you are using N not to die ???
You can afford to do that ???
How is the taste ????
It doesn't make you vomit ??? Do you use Metos ???
Also … I thought N was supposed to make people drowsy but it makes you feel normal ???

The previous night I took the N and it made me sleep. The next day I felt the high effects because it was an overdose, but not near enough of an overdose to kill me. And yes the next day overdose effects actually made me feel normal for once. I was talking and laughing with co-workers. Normally I'm silent and bitter and suicidal. The taste is very bitter. No, it does not make me vomit. Maybe it would if I took all of it without an anti-emetic. I don't know what Metos are, so no I don't use Metos. I can kind of afford to do this, yes.

I wish I was able to carry conversations like normal people.
damm...

You can with practice and therapy.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

The previous night I took the N and it made me sleep. The next day I felt the high effects because it was an overdose, but not near enough of an overdose to kill me. And yes the next day overdose effects actually made me feel normal for once. I was talking and laughing with co-workers. Normally I'm silent and bitter and suicidal. The taste is very bitter. No, it does not make me vomit. Maybe it would if I took all of it without an anti-emetic. I don't know what Metos are, so no I don't use Metos. I can kind of afford to do this, yes.

Ok … I understand now. Maybe I misunderstood your earlier post.
It's good you can afford to do practice runs. Kinda jelly
I can talk and laugh with co-workers but inside I'm dying.
It would be great if I didn't need anti emetics (Metos) I felt sick taking them and stopped. I might try a little Pepto with them the next time I have the courage to attempt again.