still alive (sadly)

[iwishiwasdeadpls]

I couldn't end my life. I'm a failure and a fucking coward.

I wish someone would shoot me in the head and end my suffering.

I was so desperate that I went and searched(online) for serial killers to get them to kill me.

I'm so pathetic and a loser. I wish I was never born.

 

[deadngoresurgery]

Wait do you know how to get in contact with them?

 

[Hollowman]

You're not pathetic at all. Ctb is the hardest thing to do.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

You aren't pathetic at all and I'm sorry you're going through all this

 

[Chronical_Suicidal]

Don't worry, for ever commitment of suicide, probably there are some failed attempts. It's ok to fail - just male sure you won't live with sequelae.

 

[HangMan123]

I couldn't end my life. I'm a failure and a fucking coward.

I wish someone would shoot me in the head and end my suffering.

I was so desperate that I went and searched(online) for serial killers to get them to kill me.

I'm so pathetic and a loser. I wish I was never born.

You aren't pathetic at all. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel.
The truth is that CTBing is probably the most difficult thing you could possibly do. You are literally resisting billions of years worth of evolutionary instinct—ANYONE would fail at that. That's why most suicides are impulsive and why people are usually on substances when they go through with it (not recommending you do that, by the way). I know your mind will immediately shoot this down, but you really are being too hard on yourself. You're not a 'loser'—you're just under incredible pain and stress.
I really hope things improve for you so that you don't feel the need to act on these thoughts. Wishing you the best.

 

[darksouls]

sending much love

 

[hellstar_paradox]

You're not any of those things, please don't beating yourself up (easier said than done I know). Please just try and do whatever you need to take care of yourself right now, sending hugs