Staying alive for a bit

[Floppa]

You guys know any tricks how to stay alive a little longer? I don't want to upset my grandma I am currently living together, she's got noone else and I'm basically her only company and help in day to day life. Mother I am less worried about, she's got a family and I am planning to leave her my flat and some money anyway - my idea of a compensation of sorts. But the thing is, lately I have been thinking about suicide too much, that's unusual for me, I am afraid I'll act someday on an impulse and I don't want to be robbed of control, the exit should not be rushed or made from a place of desperation. So the question is: any mental tricks, perhaps chemical substances that can ensure I live for another year or two?

 

[brighteyesfan144]

You guys know any tricks how to stay alive a little longer? I don't want to upset my grandma I am currently living together, she's got noone else and I'm basically her only company and help in day to day life. Mother I am less worried about, she's got a family and I am planning to leave her my flat and some money anyway - my idea of a compensation of sorts. But the thing is, lately I have been thinking about suicide too much, that's unusual for me, I am afraid I'll act someday on an impulse and I don't want to be robbed of control, the exit should not be rushed or made from a place of desperation. So the question is: any mental tricks, perhaps chemical substances that can ensure I live for another year or two?

have you ever attempted? my advice for mental tricks is to get busy distracting yourself. start working on a big project or get invested in some video games.

 

[Floppa]

have you ever attempted? my advice for mental tricks is to get busy distracting yourself. start working on a big project or get invested in some video games.

I have, but I was a foolish 15yo boy at the time, didn't really understand the impact of my actions, so now I want to be more careful. Games i've tried, not really helpful, as for big projects - idk, what kind of? Doesn't that require passion or whatever which i think i lack?

 

[brighteyesfan144]

I have, but I was a foolish 15yo boy at the time, didn't really understand the impact of my actions, so now I want to be more careful. Games i've tried, not really helpful, as for big projects - idk, what kind of? Doesn't that require passion or whatever which i think i lack?

not necessarily. i would ask chatgpt to find out what you're interested in and start a project that will take over a year.

 

[ventiswine]

gacha games usually do it for me but i saw ur reply and that's ok if it takes a bit to find ur own thing.
anime helped me when i was still into that a bit because i would wait each week for a new ep then wait months for a season.
really have anything to look forward to, even if it's phone time in bed while drinking smth nice create a lil nice routine. you will eventually find ur own thing. try new stuff and don't pressure yourself. wishing you the best

 

[selfishmachine]

i am very proud of you for holding on

 

[UnrulyNightmare]

Sorry you feel that way

Same here, I use chatgpt to fill my days, sometimes even just learning about new stuff, when nothing else is possible and I have a solid safetyplan to prevent impulsiveness.

 

[NoHorizon]

Is there any sort of event or travel destination you'd love to visit before you die? I recently managed to get a ticket to see a band I love which isn't for a few months which has changed my outlook from "I want to die ASAP" to "I need to hang on for a few months, then I can die". Perhaps booking some sort of bucket list thing might give you a reason you'd want to temporarily live.

 

[58Alice85]

Push through it with sheer willpower?
do pleasant things?
you're only extending the suffering for a little bit it will be gone eventually, keep this in mind

 

[ih34rty0u]

in the same boat right now, i usually rely on benzos and cigarettes to calm me down during mental breakdowns (so almost every day). i also try to talk to as many people online as i can to feel less lonely. sometimes even just fantasizing about suicide without actually doing it feels oddly comforting.

 

[Floppa]

Is there any sort of event or travel destination you'd love to visit before you die? I recently managed to get a ticket to see a band I love which isn't for a few months which has changed my outlook from "I want to die ASAP" to "I need to hang on for a few months, then I can die". Perhaps booking some sort of bucket list thing might give you a reason you'd want to temporarily live.

not really, went to TGS a few weeks ago, but that was work so not like i felt particularly good about the event. Otherwise i'm not very fond of traveling at all, anywhere i've ever gone was with family

in the same boat right now, i usually rely on benzos and cigarettes to calm me down during mental breakdowns (so almost every day). i also try to talk to as many people online as i can to feel less lonely. sometimes even just fantasizing about suicide without actually doing it feels oddly comforting.

hm, maybe i should pick up smoking too, although i did try a few times and found the experience sort of lacking, maybe cigars are better? Who can say, i'll go actually buy one now to see what happens, thank you for the insight