Honestly i don't know how to start, i just noticed it yesterday because i tried weed (1. We will come back to this) and i had sort of a bad trip. But every time i try something like caffeine, nicotine, THC. Any of that makes my legs shake uncontrollably (obviously the effect with THC is the most noticeable one of them all).
Well the thing of the story is the description of my bad trip with the THC + SSRI (Citalopram 30mg).
I was with 2 friends and they had half gram, they made the first one and i rejected that one, i thought it was too early to get it since i had the Citalopram around 13-14 that day. But we stayed a bit longer, we bought some drinks and made the second one. At that point i just wanted to have some fun and relax, i took 3 hits and then one of the last. Total: 4 hits.
I was kind of desperate for the effects and when it hit me, it was... something. I was paranoid. i didn't want another bad trip where i lose consciousness. That one felt good, this one didn't because i was afraid, i was keeping an eye on the watch while trying to chill, even tho i felt like i was faking it. We were singing one of the songs i like, and it felt like forever. We were talking and they were aware that i was feeling a bit bad but they also know that saying the risks could be worse specially in that case because it could make me more paranoid. And it is a fact, i was watching their every word rapidly filling the sentence in my mind with something bad happening to me. Hopefully i realized that me doing that didn't help and was making it worse, so decided to watch reels. Then we had a fit of laughter. then while i was sitting in the floor my leg started shaking uncontrollably, they tried not to worry me but said "stop shaking so much" and gently after some seconds suggested that we go home and sleep. we started walking and i couldn't control the shaking, not even while walking. But mentally i was trying to figure out what were they talking about. realized they were also high so i just gave up, we ended up at my house and i said good bye. I was worried that my family could caught me like this. But they didn't they were sleeping fortunately. I went to bed and there i relaxed, a lot, but my muscles wanted to move anyway,
Honestly i am proud in part of my self management, because i was aware of whats happening, why its happening and used some grounding techniques. As well as my friends i know they know how to handle this type of situation. So i was aware of how they were trying to avoid me saying im feeling bad because it made me feel better at some grade.
SSRI effects alone are good and all especially for recovery. But i don't like that i can't take caffeine, nicotine, or any other toxic :/
My psychiatrist said THC, and nicotine are okay while i don't abuse or generate dependence or resistance (didn't even mention caffeine tho). but Alcohol ? nope, forget about it, don't even think about it.
i don't like the fact that for other people handling undiagnosed depression with alcohol or another toxic might have a hard time even trying to go to therapy or psychiatrist for these things. The thing that i don't like most about all this topic is that the information with a good source about what could happen, how to prevent it, how to handle all these type of things with toxics are spread and hard to find in some way.
I know this post doesnt have the discussion prefix, but i would like to know what does the recovery community thinks about this in general. If anyone wants to ask for details about my story i am more than willing to do it. i also would like a review from 1 to 10 of my writing.
Well the thing of the story is the description of my bad trip with the THC + SSRI (Citalopram 30mg).
I was with 2 friends and they had half gram, they made the first one and i rejected that one, i thought it was too early to get it since i had the Citalopram around 13-14 that day. But we stayed a bit longer, we bought some drinks and made the second one. At that point i just wanted to have some fun and relax, i took 3 hits and then one of the last. Total: 4 hits.
I was kind of desperate for the effects and when it hit me, it was... something. I was paranoid. i didn't want another bad trip where i lose consciousness. That one felt good, this one didn't because i was afraid, i was keeping an eye on the watch while trying to chill, even tho i felt like i was faking it. We were singing one of the songs i like, and it felt like forever. We were talking and they were aware that i was feeling a bit bad but they also know that saying the risks could be worse specially in that case because it could make me more paranoid. And it is a fact, i was watching their every word rapidly filling the sentence in my mind with something bad happening to me. Hopefully i realized that me doing that didn't help and was making it worse, so decided to watch reels. Then we had a fit of laughter. then while i was sitting in the floor my leg started shaking uncontrollably, they tried not to worry me but said "stop shaking so much" and gently after some seconds suggested that we go home and sleep. we started walking and i couldn't control the shaking, not even while walking. But mentally i was trying to figure out what were they talking about. realized they were also high so i just gave up, we ended up at my house and i said good bye. I was worried that my family could caught me like this. But they didn't they were sleeping fortunately. I went to bed and there i relaxed, a lot, but my muscles wanted to move anyway,
Honestly i am proud in part of my self management, because i was aware of whats happening, why its happening and used some grounding techniques. As well as my friends i know they know how to handle this type of situation. So i was aware of how they were trying to avoid me saying im feeling bad because it made me feel better at some grade.
SSRI effects alone are good and all especially for recovery. But i don't like that i can't take caffeine, nicotine, or any other toxic :/
My psychiatrist said THC, and nicotine are okay while i don't abuse or generate dependence or resistance (didn't even mention caffeine tho). but Alcohol ? nope, forget about it, don't even think about it.
i don't like the fact that for other people handling undiagnosed depression with alcohol or another toxic might have a hard time even trying to go to therapy or psychiatrist for these things. The thing that i don't like most about all this topic is that the information with a good source about what could happen, how to prevent it, how to handle all these type of things with toxics are spread and hard to find in some way.
I know this post doesnt have the discussion prefix, but i would like to know what does the recovery community thinks about this in general. If anyone wants to ask for details about my story i am more than willing to do it. i also would like a review from 1 to 10 of my writing.
