SORRY I'M POSTING AGAIN

[StarryStarry]

I apologize for posting again. I need to talk to someone and I have no one. I'm trying so hard to keep myself together, but I am struggling. All I keep thinking of is ctb. Just closing my eyes and never having to worry about money, IRS, jobs, where will I live, what if I'm fired, Sweet Pea, getting rid of my stuff, mailing out other stuff, money, can I do this, I'm so overwhelmed I don't think I can do this. I've sat in my apartment for six months trying to find a job where I am now living. I found nothing. Now I know how many bad decisions I've made. My life isn't going to change. Fuck, I'm 60 years old if it hasn't changed yet it sure as hell isn't going to change in the future. Every decision I make is wrong. It doesn't matter what it is - it's wrong. I'm not sure I can keep going for Sweet Pea. I'm losing whatever will I have to live. I just can't do it anymore. Again, I'm sorry for posting so much.

 

[FuneralCry]

You do not need to be sorry for posting, post as much as you like. It sounds like you have suffered a lot, life is just so cruel and unfair. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

It's all right to post! I'm saddened to hear things are taking a turn for the worse—I can relate to the feeling of hopeless overwhelm. It's okay if you can't handle things while they're so difficult. I understand your desperation. I really, really do.

Please feel free to PM me if you need to. I'm here to listen. I want to help in whatever way I can. ❤

 

[Lost Magic]

Starry, you have no reason to apologise for posting 'again'. This is what this forum is all about. Vent as much as you want. This is a community of people who understand what the pain of life is like. I'm sorry you are going through all this and governments and employers don't make it any easier. I wish I could make all your problems disappear. All you can do is work with the tools you have and look into finding any support you can. I hope you get through this tumultuous time in your life (which you shouldn't have to deal with as an older person anyway).

 

[Leiden]

I know how you feel. I never make the right choice, even when I really think things through, it just seems like nothing works out for me. I have the absolute WORST luck! I can't believe how bad my luck is. I hope things can somehow get better for you. I know how scary it is and I'm sorry that you are going through this.

 

[freedompass]

Hey there Starry. Fellow (nearly) 60 year old here. I'm sorry you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed, you have so much on your plate and not having someone to share the burden with can magnify it all. Definitely don't feel sorry for posting. We all have some kind of social needs, for acknowledgement, recognition, attention. We're human. I hear you when you say, how is it gonna get better at this point when it's been such a train wreck so far. I often feel the same. We've had so much time to accumulate regrets. Try to consider all the things you got right over the years? (And how bad others have fucked up too, if it helps!) I hope you see some glimmers of light soon dear Starry, love to you and Sweet Pea

 

[Of The Universe]

How is the cat doing?